Voice Over (Eric Idle): The BBC would like 'to announce that
the next scene is not considered suitable for family viewing. It contains
scenes of violence, involving people's heads and arms getting chopped
off, their ears nailed to trees, and their toenails pulled out in slow
motion. There are also scenes of naked women with floppy breasts, and
also at one point you can see a pair of buttocks and there's another
bit where I'll swear you can see everything, but my friend says it's
just the way he's holding the spear. (pulling himself together)
Because of the unsuitability of the scene, the BBC will be replacing
it with a scene from a repeat of 'Gardening Club' for I958.
(A beautiful well-stocked garden bed. 'Gardening Club' music.
After two seconds there are shrieks of licentious and lustful laughter.
A nude woman pursues a city gent, both screaming with pleasure, into
the middle of the flowerbed and they roll around smashing up the flowers
in unbridled erotic orgy. Immediately two nuns run in to join the fun,
followed by two Vikings, a gumby, a pantomime goose, etc. The whole
of this orgy is speeded up.)
CAPTION: 'KEN RUSSELL'S GARDENING CLUB (I958)'
Voice Over: And now back to the story.