Europolice Song Contest / 'Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong' (song)

As featured in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode 22

The cast:

MUFFIN

Michael Palin

DUCKIE

Terry Jones

GIRL

Eric Idle

VOICE OVER

Michael Palin

ZATAPATHIQUE

Graham Chapman

The sketch:

(A door opens and a plainclothes deteaive plus ten PCs (the Fred Tomlinson Singers) enter.)

Muffin: Ah! Hello, Duckie.

Duckie: Hello, sir. How are you?

Muffin: I'm fine thanks. How are you?

Duckie: Well, sir, I'm a little bit moody today, sir.

Muffin: Why's that, Duckie?

Duckie: Because...

(Rhythm combo starts up out of vision and Dective Duckie sings. Superimposed caption on screen: 'SGT DUCKIE'S SONG')

Duckie:

I'm a little bit sad and lonely


Now my baby's gone away...


I'm feeling kinda blue


Don't know just what to do


I feel a little sad today.


Chorus of PCs:


He's a little bit sad and lonely


Now his baby's gone away


He's feeling kinda blue


He don't know just what to do


He's not feeling so good today.


Duckie: (solo)


When I smile


The sun comes flooding in


But when I'm sad


It goes behind the clouds again.


Chorus:

He's a little bit sad and lonely


Now his baby's gone away


He's feeling kinda (they stop abruptly and say)


etcetera, etcetera. (applause)


Muffin: A lovely song, Duckie.

(Eurovision girl comes in.)

Girl: And that's the final entry. La derniere entree. Das final entry. And now, guten abend. Das scores. The scores. Les scores. Dei scores. Oh! Scores. Ha! Scores! (cut to scoreboard in Chinese) Yes, Monaco is the winner - hall Monaco is the linner- oh yes, man, Monaco's won de big prize, bwana ... and now, here is Chief Inspector Jean-Paul Zatapathique with the winning song once again.

(The accompaniment starts as the singers hum the intro. Cut to flashy Eurovision set. Zatapathique steps onto podium.)

Voice Over: (hushed tone) And so, Inspector Zatapathique, the forensic expert from the Monaco Murder Squad sings his song 'Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong'.

Zatapathique: (spoken) Quoi? Quoi? Tout le monde, quoi? ... mais, le monde ... d'habitude ... mais ... je pense ...

Zatapathique and Singers:

Bing tiddle tiddle bang

Bing tiddle fiddle bing

Bing fiddle fiddle tiddle tiddle

Bing fiddle tiddle tiddle BONG!

(Credits over. Zatapathique finishes and bends over exhausted. An arrow indicates his rear)

Voice Over: Number thirty-one. The end.

Return to the sketches index