Monty Python's The Meaning of Life Highlights from the Record Album by Graham Chapman, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin, Eric Idle & John Cleese Transcripts done by Gustaf Sjöblom As told to Garrett Gilchrist of Monty Python’s PythoNET Visit http://orangecow.org/pythonet NOTE: Included in this file are original sketches done for the comedy album tying in with the film "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life." First released in 1983. Much of the album is taken up by excerpts from the film itself. Those are not included here. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monty Python's The Meaning of Life THE ONLY SOUNDTRACK ALBUM TO BE INTRODUCED BY LIVE FISH! (Apart from some copies of 'Shane') (Inside record sleeve) A UNIVERSAL RELEASE ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK RECORDING Record produced by Andre Jacquemin & Michael Palin. Engineered, mixed and edited by Andre Jacquemin at Redwood Recording Studios INCLUDING THE MEANING OF LIFE Lyrics by Eric Idle. Music by Eric Idle & John du Prez GALAXY SONG Lyrics and Music by Eric Idle and John du Prez ACCOUNTANCY SHANTY Lyrics and Music by Eric Idle THE NOT NOEL COWARD SONG Lyrics and Music by Eric Idle CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN Lyrics by Terry Jones. Music by Eric Idle. All recorded at Brittania Row. EVERY SPERM IS SACRED Lyrics by Michael Palin & Terry Jones. Music by Andre Jacquemin & Dave Howman. Arranged bt Mike McNaught. Recorded at Redwood. Incidental music: De Wolfe & Ready Music. Songs published by Kay-Gee-Bee Music Ltd. Original Film Soundtrack recorded by Garth Marshall and mixed by Paul Carr & Brian Paxton. Illustration: Blake/Sears. Monty Python´s The Meaning of Life AN ACROBAT WRITES Seldom in the history of mankind has there been an attempt to explain the Eternal Question in quite such a stimulating and provocative way as in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. It leaves Mary Poopins standing and makes Bobby Vee's 'Rubber Ball' seem almost irrelevant. Who are these philosophers of fun, those wacky Wittgensteins of wit? and why does their message ring so true even in these days of hyperinflation and massive trade deficits? Graham Chapman, a Leicester man, rose to fame in the Cambridge University 'shitties' team which toured Ghana in the mid-sixties in an unsuccessful attempt to popularize this skillful game*. Even as a youth Graham had been concerned with major philosophical questions. Not content to room the streets of Market Harborough abusing freemasons like normal children of his age, Graham wanted something more, something deeper, something that woukd last. As his choirmaster recollects, 'Graham would always be asking "why?", even at weekends. With his expressive face and arrow through the neck kit, it was always likely that Graham would go into comedy. It was through comedy that Graham met his fellow philospher - John Cleese. John, born of Jungian stock on the seafront at Weston-Super-Mare, spent the first thirty-six years of his life perfecting a very clever trick. But like any other healthy normal boy, John wanted to know what life was all about - why hair grew under his arms and what you would call an Archbishop if you met him in a train. 'I remember him being endlessly inquisitive,' recalls Arthur Sporritt, who ran a sweetshop near John's home. He'd want to know all the constituents of liquorice and why so few toffees were cut cleanly at the end. Sometimes we'd be up until 3 or 4 in the morning answering all his questions. It must have stood John in good stead because in the 1960's he was made Head of Comedy on the North Sea Oil Rigs and has never looked back. His colleague Eric Idle is a philospher's philospher. His provocative theories and super dinner parties have endeared him to thinkers the world over. Whilst most adults of his age are out windsurfing, Eric is more likely to be found at work theorising, trying desperately to get to the bottom of it all. Someone who once taught Eric is confident that he will find the answer. "Eric was a very determined boy ... when everyone else said 'No', Eric would say 'Yes'. That's how he lost his front teeth." Descartes is his hero. "René was doing what Python's doing now two hundred years ago", says Eric's answering machine. Another Cartesian thinker is rugby-playing, non pipe-smoking gourmet and raconteur Terry Jones, who used to argue for Wales, until injury forced him into premature retirement. Rubbing his nose ruefully, Terry recalls 'I went in a bit hard against England I suppose. I said something about The Royal Family having less English blood than Papadopolos, and I don't remember anything after that.' Terry in fact fled from Wales early in his life, dragging his father and mother, much against their will, to live in Esher, Surrey. One Esher man who remembers Terry well is Laurence Phipps. Another is Ronald Cheddington. Terry is the only member of the Python team who has seen a Flying Saucer. Terry Gilliam, who has based his philosphical method on the works of Bruce Lee, is the most active of all the Python thinkers. Born in Minneapolis, he has been imbued with a passion for knowledge throughout his life. Not content with mastering the spelling of 'Corn Flakes,' Terry now wants to make his own film. He has an engaging air of wonderment and innocence which has endeared him to many producers. Terry is continually probing, challenging, testing himself. Never satisfied with just being good at something, Terry wants to be the best, and he can now reverse quite large family saloon cars into very tight spaces, backwards, up a hill. This is the sort of man he is. Michael Palin, on the other hand, is often mistaken for a woman, but his soft voice and 48 inch bust conceals a hard, tough, shrewd little thinker. As his chemist says, 'If Michael comes into the shop and asks for Interdens, I don't stop to ask why.' Michael comes from the tough Sheffield school of philosphy. It's difficult to define their ideas precisely, but they regard logical positivism as 'fucking rubbish' and Spinoza's definition of Substance as 'crap'. Michael brings to the group a tight intellectual discipline and a rather shabby brown Mini. The team wrestled for many months and weeks before they came to lay down the basic principles on which Monty Python's The Meaning of Life is based. Now you have it in your hand. At first it may not be easy to follow the thread of their gist. Don't worry, philosphy is never easy, otherwise everyone would be at it. Listen again and again. Buy another couple of records - it may help. Above all don't give up. Don't just dismiss this album as inconsequential comic rubbish. Humour was a stage that the Python team went through on the road to self-realisation. Now they are there. Now they are prepared to share with you all the fruits of their inquiries. This is why we have asked your record store owner to stock Monty Python's The Meaning of Life under Philosphy. Thank you. 'Shitties' involves the retention of coins between the buttocks and their delivery into a beer mug from a height of 24 inches or more. Other Great Philosophy L.P´s ---------------------------- Ethics (after Dark) - Koo Stark and Brian Redhead Great Motivist, Deontological and Consequence Theories (Various Artists K-Tel) Free Will - My Way - Frank Spinoza Deductive Logic - Richard Clayderman Bishop Berkeley's Theory of Immaterialism - narrated by Donald Sinden. (End of record sleeve) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Table of Contents Congratulations Fried Babies BBC News Martin Luther Tea of 1914-1918 Terry Gilliam Warrior Accountants Search for missing leg "What's that?" The Final Journey Album Dedication No piranhas Congratulations Michael Palin: Congratulations, record buyer! You are now the proud owner of the first soundtrack album ever to be introduced by live fish! Apart from some copies of Shane...in South America. (Fish Intro) (Meaning of Life Song) (Birth) Fried Babies Michael Palin: Somewhere in the world, a baby is born every 1.7 seconds. This means, that in the time it takes to fry an egg in a conventional frying pan, over 137 babies have been born. Unless you like your egg really crispy and golden brown on the outside like I do, in which case you could have over 200 really crispy, fried babies. Or, if you're cooking on gas, about 194. But of course the real problem, is that by far the great majority of these fried eggs are born in areas least able to support them. (The 3rd World) BBC News Michael Palin: But the tragic events of No. 42 did not go unobserved by the neighbors. Radio: This is the BBC home service. Here is the news: The British invasion of Russia ended quietly yesterday with the unconditional surrender of Moscow to Lieutenant Simon Pring. In Düsseldorf, the Brititsh pair Nanet and Napoleon Hardcastle have won everything they possibly could have entered for. And British weather has been named by Climate Magazine as the best in the world. GC: Look at them... Martin Luther Michael Palin: The Adventures of Martin Luther! An exciting and controversial examination of the protestant reformer whose re- assessment of the role of the individual in Christian belief skook the foundations of a post-feudal Germany in the grip of the sixteenth cent- (Growth & Learning) (WW I) Tea of 1914-1918 Michael Palin: So tea was taken in the heart of France. The dying rays of the summer sun drimted on fresh sliced cucumber sandwhiches and caught the rought textured richness of the Garibori biscuits. The sound of crackling brandy snaps filled the still air. The soldiers chattled over their Swiss roll and spread thick butter upon their scones. Squatties passed the milk to ... and Colonel offered apricot jam to their batman, generals and runners sat down to crumpet together. The Great Tea of 1914-1918 had begun. Fish: They haven't said... [ ] Terry Gilliam TG: Hello, this is Terry Gilliam welcoming you to side two. Of course you won't be seeing my animations on this, being a record. My normal contributions is of course mainly visual, and one of the things I'm most proud and to happy of have contributed to the film is opening sequence about pirate clerks. Now, this began years ago when I was really quite a young man, about 45-46, ah, I remembered coming home from a ... (Accountancy Shanty) Warrior Accountance Michael Palin: So the intepid warrior accountants cruised away into the sunset, keeping alive the highest ideals of British courage and dedication. Ideals tested many times before, on even fiercer battlefields. The Zulu wars 1888. JC: Morning... [ ] Man: Yes, sir! Search for missing leg Michael Palin: All that day and much of the next night, the search party pursued their quest for Perkin's missing leg. Deeper and deeper into the jungle they went, waiting with incredible patience for their servants to cut down the huge trees and savagingly twisted arners. They found the legs of many creatures, including a matching pair belonging to a Swiss missionary and a almost hairless left leg, identifiable only by a faded Victory Brand socks suspender. The next morning found them with fifteen legs, only one of them British, and none the same colour as Perkin's. Worse still, they were entering the darkest, densest part of the whole soundtrack album, legendary middle of side two, blowing panic written on it. They beagn to hallucinate, dreaming in their wildest moments they were Henry Kissinger's uncle and aunty. Lady: Hi! [ ] "What's that?" Woman: Live organ transplants? What's that? Waiter: Well, that's, uh... kind of a blink. (Live Organ Transplants) [ ] Waiter: ...a hose. Michael Palin: 23 courses later. Waiter: Finally monsieur... [ ] Woman: I didn't even eat the mousse! The Final Journey Michael Palin: So death took them down the last road. The final journey from which there is no return, when the meaning of life itself would finally be revealed. Reaper: Behold Paradise! [ ] Album Dedication Michael Palin: This album is dedicated to fish the world over. In seas, on plates, in ponds, restaurants, kitchens or aquariums, shelves or buckets. In lakes and streams and freezers, to all those silent unsung fish who have given their lives of countless centuries so that other, bigger fish may live. In the hope of this album, we promote a new spirit of harmony and understanding, in the oceans of the world, every dollar or pound or peso or don spent on the purchase of this record will go towards helping fish and all who love them. Thank you. Fish: That was terrific! [ ] No piranhas Michael Palin: I've been asked to add that none of the money will go to piranhas or hammerhead sharks or their relatives... or sea urchins...or those rather strange, flat things with huge, luminous eyes, but you only find those about 40,000 feet down. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- As told to Garrett Gilchrist of Monty Python’s PythoNET Visit http://orangecow.org/pythonet