\ }\ ,--//////|||||\\\\\\--, `\ .~ \ -=[ A SCRIPT CALLED WANDA ]=- }\/ ~~ o\ `--\\\\\\|||||//////--` }/\i )) _} ,/ ~.ii/` transcribed by Linus the Llama [linus@corplink.com.au] jgs }/ (Bits taken from "A Fish Called Wanda the Screenplay") / - Key * CHARACTER Dialogue * Scene. Interior\Exterior. Place. Time. * [Screen directions, etc] * Caption - = CAPTION * (OOV) = (Out of view) * ~ Dialogue ~ = Foreign Language ------------------------------------ http://orangecow.org/pythonet ------------------------------------ 1. Exterior. Tower Bridge. London. Morning. Caption - MGM PRESENTS 2. Exterior. Lincoln's Inn Fields. Day. [Two female barristers in wigs cross the road] Caption - A MICHAEL SHAMBERG PROMINENT FEATURES PRODUCTION 3. Interior. Law court. Day. [The court is in session. Archie Leach is summing up to the jury.] ARCHIE And on that point, members of the jury, I rest my case. [He bows to the judge and solemnly sits down.] Caption - JOHN CLEESE 4. Exterior. Hatton Garden. Day. [The camera pans down from Diamond House to find a young lady coming out. She is smartly dressed, wearing a hat fit for Ascot. This is Wanda Gershwitz.] Caption - JAMIE LEE CURTIS [She looks around to wake sure nobody is watching and then takes several rapid photographs with a camera built into the bottom of her handbag.] 5. Interior. Otto's pad. Day. [On a bed in a Japanese-style basement room, Otto West is dozing in the lotus position. His alarm goes off. He sits up with a start, grabs his gun and shoots it.] Caption - KEVIN KLINE [Having silenced it, he settles back contently to read Friedrich Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil.] 6. Interior. Ken's room, George's flat. Day. [Sitting at a table in his bedroom, Ken Pile adjusts a model of a strongroom which he is comparing with a photograph.] Caption - MICHAEL PALIN [He seems satisfied and as he gets up from the table we see, on the walls behind him, several Animal Rights posters.] 7. Interior. Living-room, George's flat. Day. [Ken is beside a tank full of tropical fish. He feeds them and, as we draw nearer the tank, we notice among them some rare and strange-looking fish, particularly a beautiful angel fish -groomed, triangular with a razor edge to her. He bends down and looks at her adoringly.] KEN Hallo, Wanda. The camera lingers on these vivid vertebrates as we see the rest of the credits A FISH CALLED WANDA With MARIA AITKEN TOM GEORGESON PATRICIA HAYES GEOFFREY PALMER Music by JOHN DU PREZ Production Designer ROGER MURRAY-LEACH Director of Photography ALAN HUME B.S.C. Film Editor JOHN JYMPSON Associate Producer JOHN COMFORT Executive Producers STEVE ABBOTT and JOHN CLEESE Story by JOHN CLEESE and CHARLES CRICHTON Written by JOHN CLEESE Produced by MICHAEL SHAMBERG Directed by CHARLES CRICHTON 8. Interior. Living-room, George's flat. Day. [Ken is still feeding the fish. The door opens and the human Wanda enters. She has exchanged the smooth outfit of the opening sequence for the garb of a gangster's moll imitation ocelot jacket and leather mini skirt. She is followed by Otto, dressed in black.] WANDA Hi, Ken. KEN Hallo, Wwwanda. WANDA Ken, this is Otto. OTTO Hallo, Ken, Wanda's told me a lot about you. Hey! Great fish. KEN Oh, th-th-thank ... OTTO A little squeeze of lemon, some tartare sauce, perfect ... [Wanda raps Otto. Otto squeezes her boob. Ken turns.] WANDA George back yet? [She makes for the kitchen.] KEN Nnnno. He had to ggggo tttto the bbbb... [Otto stares at Ken, astonished. Ken looks at him.] Wwwwha... OTTO That's er, quite a stutter you've got there, Ken. [Ken is dumbstruck. Otto smiles at him.] It's all right, it doesn't bother me. So... George needs a weapons man, eh? [Ken looks sharply at Otto. Wanda calls from the kitchen.] WANDA A cup of tea, Ken? KEN Yyyy... OTTO Yeah, he'd like one. I had a good friend in the CIA who had a stutter. Cost him his life, dammit. [The front door opens and George enters. Wanda runs to him from the kitchen.] WANDA Hi, George. [She embraces him and he returns the affection with a squeeze of her bottom. Ken is hot on her heels.] KEN Hallo, George. Get you a scotch? GEORGE Yeah. [Ken scampers off. George eyes Otto.] WANDA George, this is Otto. GEORGE So, you're Wanda's brother. OTTO Good to be here, George. England is a fine country. GEORGE She tell you what we need? [Otto makes a rapid movement, causing a knife to appear in his hand, and then throws the knife so that it sticks perfectly between the eyes of an animal on one of Ken's posters in the alcove. Ken stares, horrified.] OTTO Something like that? GEORGE Something like that. Cut to: 9. Exterior. Archie's house. Day. [Wendy, Archie's wife, is sitting in a deckchair on the lawn reading Country Life. Archie comes out of the house and walks down the garden towards her.] ARCHIE Hallo, Wendy. [No response.] Had a good day? WENDY I spend the morning trying to get the waste disposal man to come, and have lunch with Marjorie Brooks who takes up the entire meal complaining about her husband, then I have to play three rubbers with Phillipa Hunter and I come back here and Sanderson's have sent the wrong flowers... ARCHIE Oh no!... Would you like some tea? WENDY Yes. ARCHIE ...I won the case. WENDY This the first moment I've had to myself all day! Cut to: 10. Interior. Kitchen, Archie's house. Day. [Portia, Archie's teenage daughter, is at the fridge, in full riding ear. Archie enters the kitchen.] ARCHIE Hallo, Portia. How was the show? PORTIA Awful, Daddy. I've got to have a new horse. ARCHIE I thought you liked Phantom. PORTIA He's not fit for dog meat! Can I change him please Dad? It's absolutely vital and it won't cost me much. [She pecks him on the cheek and moves off.] ARCHIE Well, oughtn't we ask Belinda if she could... [Wendy enters.] WENDY I thought you were making the tea, Archie. ARCHIE Yes, I am, darling... WENDY I suppose I'd better get it. ARCHIE No, no, let me do it, please. WENDY No, I'll do it. [She starts getting it, noisily. She picks up a cup.] ARCHIE I won the case ... WENDY Oh! Now this is cracked. Cut to: 11. Interior. Living-room, George's flat. Day. [The camera pulls back from Wanda, calculating, to reveal the four members of the gang sitting around a table covered with papers and models. George is giving instructions.] GEORGE They're worth about a hundred thousand each. There are one hundred and thirty-five of them, that makes thirteen millions, my friends. [Wanda continues doing sums with her pocket calculator.] WANDA Dollars or pounds? GEORGE Pounds, pet. This is the big one. So... [George looks at Wanda.] WANDA ...OK. [George looks at Ken, who nods. They all look at Otto. Pause.] GEORGE Otto? OTTO Yes? GEORGE ...OK? OTTO What? GEORGE The plan. OTTO Yeah! Great. No problem. What was the, er, middle thing - about the police? GEORGE We don't meet up at Heathrow until Tuesday because... OTTO Oh yeah, yeah ... GEORGE I haven't finished yet... because the police will watch all the airports for seventy-two hours. OTTO I know, I know. KEN You wwwant mmme to ggget a bbb... [Otto is staring. Ken's stutter gets worse.] Bbbig... cccar... ffffor the... ggg... gggetaway? GEORGE Yes, Ken, a limo, OK? And put diplomatic plates on it. Right? [Ken rises, and goes to the fish.] OTTO What if he has to say something during the break-in? GEORGE ...Nobody says anything during the break in, Otto. WANDA It's OK, Otto. Ken's good. GEORGE So next week, we won't have to look for work and it won't have to look for us. (to Wanda) Oscar Wilde. [George leans over and kisses Wanda. Otto exudes malice, rises and crosses to Ken.] OTTO You really like animals, don't you, Ken? What's the attraction? KEN Because you can ttt... ttt... trust them and they don't sh ... sh... sh... OTTO Shit on you? KEN ...Show off all the time. OTTO You know what Nietzsche said about them? He said they were God's second blunder. Bye, sis! [Otto walks to the door. Wanda leaves George and goes to show Otto out.] KEN. Wwwell, you tttell him from me that I cccc... OTTO Bye George. (to Wanda) If you talk to Mum tell her I said hi. WANDA OK. OTTO (whispers) Don't let him touch you. WANDA (whispers) One more day we're together. [Otto leaves. Wanda goes to Ken.] WANDA I'm sorry about my brother, Ken, I know he's insensitive. He's had a hard life, Dad used to beat him up. [Ken nods. Pause.] KEN Good. Cut to: 12. Interior. Jeweller's offices and strong room. Day. [Something violent is happening in a Hatton Garden establishment.] [Employees are rising in alarm. They disappear from view when the reinforced glass of the office is splintered by a blast from a sawn-off shotgun. The gun swings round and shatters the lock of the office door.] [Three balaclavaed figures burst through the door, pushing a terrified customer before them. The first (Otto) draws on a gun and fires two shots at TV cameras covering the room. A monitor on a desk in the foreground goes blank. Otto sweeps it from the desk. During these brief seconds the other two villains, George and Ken, have forced the terrified employees to lie on the floor, hands on their heads. Otto drags the startled Manager over to join the other employees on the floor and then moves swiftly to the steel grid of the strong room, producing a small cross-bow as he goes.] [Otto is peering through the grill of the strong room. On the wall opposite to him is a small panel with a push button in its centre. Otto unhurriedly loads his bow with a bolt, thrusts the business end through the grid, takes careful aim at the button and fires. The bolt finds its target. The steel grill swings slowly open.] [Otto replaces George guarding the employees. At the same moment Ken comes from the Manager's office and he and George enter the strong room where they start rifling through the safes, pulling out trays containing flashy-looking jewellery and tipping it on to the floor. After several rows of trays they find what they're looking for. Ken unwraps the tissue from a small package revealing two large, glittering uncut diamonds. They shovel the rest of these packets into money-belt type pouches.] [All this is done with military precision without a word spoken.] [We intercut between George and Ken rifling the safes and Otto terrorizing the captives. He is unnecessarily vicious, delights in poking the muzzel of his gun into panic-stricken faces and intermittently amuses himself, by vandalizing the office. He catches the Manager cautiously reaching for the secret button of an alarm bell, and forces him at gun point to stand erect. An apple from a lunchbox is placed on the Manager's head. Otto takes aim with his cross-bow.] [George and Ken emerge from the strong room. George shoves Otto across towards the door of the Manager's office. The job is finished. George threatens the quaking staff with his shotgun.] GEORGE (shouting) Anybody moves and you're dead. [He blasts off a round from his gun.] [George goes through the glass door of the Manager's office as Otto vandalises it. He is showered in splinters.] Cut to: 13. Exterior. Jeweller's. Day. [The three balaclavaed men run out an to a roof and clamber over the edge, making their way hurriedly down an emergency tubular fire escape.] Cut to: 14. Interior. Jeweller's. Day. [The apple drops off the Manager's head. Realizing that the gang have finally gone, be sounds the alarm bell.] Cut to: 15. Exterior. Street at bottom of fire escape. Day. [Emerging at the bottom, the three hurry across a narrow alleyway into the back of another building. Ken leads, pulling off his balaclava.] Cut to: 16. Exterior. Street. Hatton Garden. Day. [An old lady, Mrs Coady, is walking her three small dogs. Their leads get tangled up with a man on the pavement.] MRS COADY Look where you're going... you chauvinist pig. Really, people here just think they own the pavement... [As she walks on, we notice a black Mercedes limo waiting at the kerb with the engine running. In the driver's seat sits Wanda, disguised in moustache, horn-rimmed dark glasses and chauffeur's uniform. She is watching the driving mirror intently. George, Otto and Ken cross the street, now dressed in business suits, and get into the car. Wanda accelerates away from the kerb but has to brake suddenly. They are all thrown forward and George stares through the windscreen, startled.] [Mrs Coady has frozen a few yards into the road, and is staring at him. Wanda swings the wheel and accelerates again round the old lady, just missing a dog. The limo hurries through the traffic. Ken's face stares out of the back window.] Cut to: 17. Exterior. London street (a quiet cul-de-sac). Day. [The limo screeches to a halt. The gang pile out of the car and run down some steps to a Mini Metro.] OTTO That was fun. I love robbing the English. They're so polite. KEN The dddd... OTTO What is it, Ken? KEN The ddddog. WANDA We didn't bit the dog, Ken, it's OK. OTTO Ha ha ha. Twenty Million dollars and he's worried about an insect. [They are giving bits of clothing and disguise to Ken.] KEN It's not ann un... unn... OTTO Stutter's not getting any better is it, Ken. Have you thought about surgery? GEORGE Shut up. OTTO Shut up. [George, Otto and Wanda get into the Metro. A police car screams by. Wanda peels off her moustache and hands it to Ken, who is holding a black dustbin liner full of their robbery clothes.] WANDA Ken... bye. [The Metro roars off. Ken leaves in the other direction on his motorcycle.] Cut to: 18. Exterior. London street. Day. [Ken whizzes along on his motorbike, and as he passes a rubbish skip he tosses the black bag into it and speeds on.] Cut to: 19. Exterior and interior. Mews and garage. Day. [The Metro speeds along and turns into a lock-up garage. Otto closes the garage door as the others get out.] [Inside, George opens a safe and throws in the pouches containing the diamonds. Wanda is removing the final traces of make-up with a tissue.] [George shuts the safe door and fixes the combination.] GEORGE Let's split. OTTO See you at Heathrow Airport on Tuesday. GEORGE No celebrating. [Otto leaves.] WANDA No celebrating? [She kisses George.] GEORGE See you in a couple of hours. [Wanda leaves. George comes out, closes the garage doors, sees Wanda departing, and goes off right, in the other direction. Otto's head appears from around a corner.] [Wanda goes out, turns right and passes Otto, who is standing behind a wall. He observes George, who leaves in the other direction, and then follows Wanda.] [For a moment, the mews is empty. Suddenly, a Mercedes sports car drives up. George gets out and goes back into garage, shutting the door behind him.] Cut to: 20. Interior. Otto's pad. Day. [Wanda and Otto are celebrating. They kiss passionately.] WANDA To twenty million! OTTO To a job well done. WANDA To us. OTTO To the best brother-and-sister team since... since... WANDA Romeo and Juliet? [They laugh.] OTTO Could you believe those cockney klutzes bought our story? What morons! WANDA I want you to know something, Otto. OTTO What? WANDA Even if you were my brother, I'd still want to fuck you. [She kisses him.] Make the call. OTTO Momento, carissima. WANDA No. OTTO Eventualle. WANDA No Italian! [She reaches across the bed for the telephone.] OTTO Hey. Per comminciare, due insalate verde con peperoni, un linguine primavera... WANDA No!! No!!! Make the call, Otto! [He starts dialling. Wanda writes on a piece of paper.] Are you really Italian? OTTO Absolutamente. Si. My name is Otto, it means eight. Say arrivederci a Georgio. WANDA Bye, George. OTTO (Italian accent) Ah, yes, I wonda ifa you coulda putta me troo to da polees, perfavort. [Wanda hits him.] OTTO (immediately serious, impeccable English accent) Yes, hello. Er, sorry to trouble you, but I thought it might interest you to know that the Hatton Garden robbery today was pulled off by a Mr George Thomason, who lives at ... [He reads off the paper Wanda gives him.] Cut to: 21. Interior. Living-room, George's flat. Day. OTTO. (OOV) ...Flat 3, Kipling Mansions, Murray Road, London W9. [George hurries in, and calls out.] GEORGE Wanda? [Nothing. George looks at his watch, perplexed. Then, going towards the window, he brushes something off his trousers. In doing so he cuts his finger. His trouser leg is covered in tiny particles of glass. As he does so, he hears a police siren. He glances out of the window and sees officers and a police car arriving. He hurries back towards the door of the flat, but is halted by a knocking.] VOICE. Police, open up... (pause)... come on, open up. [George freezes. His hand goes to his pocket and finds the safe-deposit box key. He holds it and looks around. He sees a smal caron of fishfood by the tank, opens it, puts the key inside, runs to the window and, keeping how, lobs the carton out of the window as the knocking restarts.] Open the door or we'll knock it down. [George goes and opens the door. Three policemen are outside. One steps forward.] INSPECTOR MARVIN George Francis Thomason? Cut to: 22. Exterior. Road outside George's block. Day. [George is escorted down the front steps to the waiting police car. The camera pans across a passing canal boat to an American car from which Wanda and Otto have been watching the arrest. Wanda checks her bag.] WANDA Passport... tickets... money. [Otto pulls out without looking and drives off fast in the opposite direction, banging the front corner of a car coming towards them and causing it to swerve violently across the road.] OTTO (shouts) Asshole! [A loud trash is heard.] Cut to: 23. Interior. Garage. Day. [Otto, with a stethoscope, is kneeling by the safe. Wanda hovers.] OTTO (removing the stethoscope) We're rich, Wanda. WANDA Yep. OTTO I bet these last two weeks with me have been the most exciting two weeks of your life. WANDA You said it. [He holds the door of the safe triumphantly. Wanda produces a cosh from her bag, holding it threateningly above the back of his head.] [Otto opens the safe door. They stare in. It is empty. Wanda puts the cosh back into her bag.] OTTO (breathing deeply) OK... OK... (shouting) I'm disappointed. [Wanda is thinking.] Sonofabitch! [He gets up and starts kicking the Metro furiously.] What do you have to do in this life to make people trust you? WANDA Shut up. [Otto thumps the roof of the car.] OTTO People are always taking advantage of me. WANDA Shut up and think! Where's he moved it? [Otto thinks, then draws his gun and fires two shots at the safe.] What are you doing? OTTO I'm thinking!!! Thinking what I'm gonna do to him. First I'll hang him up with piano wire, then I'll... where are you going? WANDA I'm going to talk to him. OTTO Then I'll... talk to who?... talk to who? Cut to: 24. Interior. Room. Jail. Day. [Close up of George. He sits with his solicitor, Bartlett, and Archie.] ARCHIE So in the course of installing these windows for your parents, you were kneeling on the floor, where there was broken glass, from the pane that you'd dropped. GEORGE That's right, sir. ARCHIE And your mother and father can confirm this? BARTLETT Yes, and his aunt, Georgina Thomason. ARCHIE Good, Bartlett. [There is a knock at the door.] Yes? [The door opens and a warder looks in.] WARDER Sorry to interrupt, sir. Thomason, there's a young lady to see you. BARTLETT (to Archie) Anything else? ARCHIE No, that's everything for the moment, thanks. You don't have to dash off, do you? BARTLETT No, no, no... absolutely not. [George rises and Bartlett goes with him.] (to George, quietly) George... Ken's got the fishfood. He'll be in later. GEORGE (delighted) Thanks. BARTLETT De nada. [George leans and Barlett returns to Archie.] What do you think, Mr Leach? ARCHIE Well, I think we may he all right on the glass. But what else are they going to come up with... 25. Interior. Visiting-room. Jail. Day. [Wanda enters the room. Otto is some way behind. Several prisoners stare and whistle at her. George is sitting, looking impassive. Wanda sees him and runs to him.] WANDA Oh, George... [She throws her arms around him and clings to him desperately.] My God, I can't believe this is happening. [A warder comes over to break then up.] WARDER That's not allowed in here, Miss. [George tries to calm her down.] WANDA Are you OK? George, I don't think I can handle this. I was so afraid to go to sleep last night. I thought the police were going to come and... GEORGE Leave it out, leave it out. OK. Now listen... listen... you stayed at my place, we slept late, you made me breakfast. [Wanda nods. George suddenly looks up and sees Otto, hovering.] WANDA What? GEORGE ... What's he doing here? WANDA He wanted to see you. OTTO Who did it, George? Kevin Delaney? (sittipt to rub him out? Anything, you name it. GEORGE I have friends making enquiries... OTTO Good. GEORGE (speaking slowly and threateningly) The jewels are very safe ... if I get sent down it all gets handed back to cut my sentence. Now to cut my sentence even more, I could tell them who dunnit with me if I wasn't very happy about everything. [There is a silence. Wanda and Otto look at him, puzzled.] OTTO Er ... what was the middle thing? GEORGE Piss off. [Otto rises.] OTTO Do you want me to spring you? GEORGE Now. [Shrugging, Otto moves off. Wanda is staring at George as Otto disappears.] WANDA George... you don't think... ? GEORGE Do you? [A pause.] WANDA No! No... No. GEORGE OK. WANDA George... GEORGE What? WANDA Are you sure the garage is very safe? GEORGE Trust me. 26. Exterior. Jail. Main gate. Day. [Otto is waiting outside the jail. Wanda comes out, smiling charmingly at a solicitous warder who has opened the door for her.] WANDA (to warder) Thank you very much. Thanks a lot. Goodbye. Have a good day. OTTO So... ? WANDA Well, he's not sure it was you. That's something, I guess. OTTO What about you? WANDA No, he believes me. That's why he can't figure out about you. OTTO Figure out what? WANDA Whether you turned him in or not, stupid. [Otto stops and turns on her.] OTTO Don't, er... ever ever EVER call me stupid. [Wanda shrugs. They walk on. Wanda suddenly stops and stares ahead. Otto looks. He sees Bartlett and Archie walking ahead, talking.] OTTO What? WANDA That's George's lawyer. The other guy must be the barrister. [Wanda starts hurrying.] OTTO So? [Wanda takes off her leather jacket and gives it to Otto. She is wearing a low-cut denim dress. She starts towards Archie and Bartlett. Otto follows but Wanda checks him.] WANDA Trust me. [She hurries ahead. Otto looks doubtful.] [Archie and Bartlett reach Archie's car. They split up and Archie starts to fumble for his keys.] ARCHIE Bartlett, you'll let me know if anything unexpected turns up? BARTLETT Yes, yes, of course. [They say goodbye. Wanda interrupts them.] WANDA Excuse me? [Archie looks enquiringly at her. She dons a pair of horn-rimmed spectacles.] Don't I recognize you? ARCHIE No, no, I don't think so... WANDA Oh... But you are a famous barrister, aren't you? ARCHIE ... Oh well, hardly. WANDA Well, could I have your autograph anyway? [Archie is very surprised.] ARCHIE Er... yes. Yes, certainly. [He looks for pen and paper.] WANDA Thanks. I'm studying aspects of your legal system. I'm American. ARCHIE Oh, really? WANDA Mm... I've only just started, though, it's fascinating. ARCHIE (indiating the prison) What, er ... what brings you here? WANDA (smiling so charmingly) Oh, it's a little embarrassing ... I have a friend ... (she indicates prison). ARCHIE Oh! Oh, I see (laughs). Well... there you are. (He hands her the paper) WANDA I knew it! You're Archie (misreading) Leash! ARCHIE Leach. WANDA Right. I saw you in court, er... two weeks ago. ARCHIE The casino break-in? WANDA Oh, you were great! Oh, I'm a big fan of yours! I love the way you, er... cross-examine. [Archie is surprised.] Oh, I really admire your work. ARCHIE Thank you. [For a moment they look at each other.] WANDA Well... I'd better not keep you. ARCHIE Oh, fine. Right. Well... WANDA (clutching autograph) Thank you for this. I'll treasure it. [A pause. They look at each other.] ARCHIE Au revoir. WANDA You speak French too, huh? [She smiles at him and walks off. Archie gets into the car and looks in the mirror. Wanda glances back and smiles again. Archie drives away, his briefcase still on the roof of his car.] [Wanda reaches Otto, who is waiting for her. He is suspicious.] OTTO What's going on? WANDA Whatever George decides to do, he's going to tell Leach first. OTTO ...Why? WANDA 'Cos he's his lawyer. OTTO Yeah, yeah, I know that! WANDA So I'm going to get to know Mr Leach. OTTO George is gonna tell him where the diamonds are? WANDA That's what I'm going to find out. [Otto looks nonplussed.] Cut to: 27. Interior. Visiting-room. Jail. Day. [We open on a close up of Ken's hands holding the fishfood carton. He unscrews the lid, shows George the key and puts it back in. George leans forward.] GEORGE You done well, my son. Now, where are we going to hide it? [Ken leans forward and whispers. There are many visitors round them and George is checking his neighbours.] Very good. Don't tell Wanda anything. Otto might get something out of her. Now... KEN (with emotion) George... you are ggggoing to get off, aren't you? GEORGE Sure. Don't worry about it, Ken. We'll fix it. Now... anything on Otto? KEN Nnnot yet. GEORGE You watch him. Cut to: 28. Interior. Staircase, George's block. Day. [Otto lurks, suspiciously. At the top of the steps Wanda is opening the door to George's flat.] Cut to: 29. Interior. George's flat. Day. [Wanda opens the door and calls.] WANDA Ken? [Silence.] OK. Looks like the police have been all over it. Let me just change clothes and then I'll help you look. [Otto enters. Wanda goes towards her bedroom. Otto surveys the scene. He sees the fish tank.] OTTO Hallo, Kkkkken's pppets. Hey! Wake up! Wake up, limey fish! [He picks up a wire cleaning brush and starts splashing the water in the tank with it.] So how are you going to get friendly with this lawyer? [He stirs the tank.] WANDA (OOV) I don't know... I'll improvise. OTTO (stopping stirring) Fucking insects! I thought Englishmen didn't like women, the way they talk. WANDA No, he's straight. He's kinda cute too in a pompous sort of way. [Otto is in the bedroom in a flash.] OTTO You got the hots for him? [Wanda is in underwear, choosing a shirt to wear.] WANDA I'm not into necrophilia, thanks. OTTO What is this, hump-a-limey week suddenly? Otto doesn't approve. Otto might get jealous. ~ E molto pericoloso, signorina, molto pericol-- ~ [Wanda gets turned on. She kisses Otto, interrupting him. He throws her onto the bed.] OTTO ~ Oh, carissima! ~ WANDA Oh, speak it! Speak it! OTTO ~ Un ossobuco Milanese con piselli, un melanzana parmigiana con spinacci, dove' la farmacia... ~ WANDA Oh, yes, yes, yes... no no no... OTTO Si, si si! WANDA No! No, Otto, not here... OTTO ~ La fontana di Trevi... umm... mozarella... uh... parmigiana... gorGONZOLA! ~ [They fall off the bed onto the floor. At that moment they hear the door to the flat opening. They freeze.] KEN (OOV) Wanda? [They remain motionless. Ken is at the main door, listening. Satisfied, he crosses to the tank and holds up the fishfood carton. KEN (whispering) Look what I've got, Wanda... treasure! [He shows the key to Wanda the fish. He notices the brush which Otto left in the tank and is puzzled.] [Wanda, the girl, gets up from the floor and watches him, unseen, from the bedroom door. Otto cocks his gun. She motions to him to get back into the bathroom, and watches Ken put the key into a miniature treasure chest on the floor of the aquarium.] KEN (to fish) Ssshh! [As Ken starts to feed the fish, Wanda wanders out of the bedroom, casually towelling her hair, She feigns surprise when she sees him and screams. Ken jumps.] KEN OH! WANDA Oh my God, Ken, it's you. I thought it might have been the police again. Isn't it horrible about George? Oh, Ken. I have such a bad headache, could you run around to the corner and pick me up some aspirin or something? [She tries to steer him towards the door, but Ken hears a noise from the bathroom.] OTTO (OOV) Shit. KEN What's that? WANDA That's my brother, he's using the bathroom. KEN Otto? [Ken's eyes flash with suspicion and dislike.] WANDA Yes, we just went and saw George, oh, it was horrible, Ken, it was just horrible... (transcript ends) ------------------------------------ http://orangecow.org/pythonet