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Grail Poetry
From the Court of King Brian the Wild

(To be sung, if at all possible, in five point close harmony with a counter-tenor lead)



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Unchained Grail


My love for you is like a Grail
that burns with quenchless embers
its bowels aburst with lava lust
pokes boldly through the eternal crust
while parts unused it limbers.

My love for you is like a Grail
embracing you with gentle
muscles lax like flabby pockets
that hang like smitten, hosed-down rockets
so nice, not detrimental.

My love for you is like a Grail
oozing, gurgling, squishing.
Killing all that's in its way,
screaming it shall have its day.
Is this my love? Oh, nay, nay!
My love for you would rather play,
would rather in your bosom stay,
believe me when I to you say,
my love for you on any day ...

... is like a Grail.


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Grail! O Grail!


Grail! O Grail!
Thy breast of tarnished gold,
Thy threadbare brim o'er ages past
Touched lips both meek and bold.

Grail! O Grail!
Thou mysterious vessel, thou
What sawest thou with thy big open hole
That might make you say, o wow!

Grail! O Grail!
Don't think that I'd not give
My own very precious and valuable things
Like my heart and my lungs and my live-r.

Grail! O Grail!
What I'd pay to hear your tale
Of all the things that you have seen,
Getting drunk from in your function as a Grail.



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Grails For the Children
(To be sung to the tune of "Grails Across the Water")


Oh Kimmy was a little boy,
Just a little boy,
Living in a bungalow.
Kimmy never had a doubt
What it's all about
And ev'ry morning folks would hear him shout:

Grails, Grails, Grails,
We need Grails for the children!
Oh, Grails, Grails, Grails,
We need Grails for the children!

Oh Kimmy rode his bicycle,
Yes his bicycle.
Rode it down the country road.
He hit a rock and nearly died,
He nearly died.
And he fell into a quagmire, so he cried:

Grails, Grails, Grails,
We need Grails for the children!
Oh, Grails, Grails, Grails,
We need Grails for the children!

Oh Kimmy couldn't move at all,
No, not at all.
He was stuck inside the quagmire.
A group of boys they came along
[They heard his song].
They gathered 'round and sang it loud and strong:

Grails, Grails, Grails,
We need Grails for the children!
Oh, Grails, Grails, Grails,
We need Grails for the children!

Kimmy sank into the mud,
The sticky mud.
He sank and slipped right out of sight.
His words they echoed loud and true.
For me and you.
As the boys they sang their faces blue:

Grails, Grails, Grails,
We need Grails for the children!
Oh, Grails, Grails, Grails,
We need Grails for the children!


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Oscillations

Sea gulls
    flying
        two
            by
                two
wingtip
    to
        wingtip
circling
    lazy
        feathers
            promise
                white
        now
            dull
                and
                    gray
weeping
    screaming
        teardrops
            streaming
Sea gulls
    cry
        for fish
            in beak
                nibbling
squeaking
    squabbling
        for
            a
                Grail


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Python (Monty) Pictures, Ltd.
20 Fitzroy Square
London W 1P6BB

January 17, 1975


I am writing to you to express how thoroughly I enjoyed your film, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." I must say this came as a great surprise to me, since I never cared at all for your television programmes. I happened to duck into a cinema house last Wednesday to get out of an unexpected downpour, only to find out that your film was playing as part of a double-feature matinee. Well, I was feeling generous that day. Deciding to give you chaps the benefit of the doubt, I paid up for a single ticket. I must admit, once the film started playing, I was addicted for the duration.
At the risk of sounding overly effusive in my praise, I must say that "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" is, without a doubt, the single most important work of science fiction since Stanley Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey" came out a few years back. You are to be applauded for your vivid imagination and sense of historical irony. A world run by militant, talking gorillas indeed! Bravo for a smashing performance by Charlton Heston -- in my book easily his best work since "Ben Hur."
Never did stay for the second film in the double feature. Not even sure what it was. In any event, keep up the good work. I shall be tuning in to see you on the Academy Awards programme.

Respectfully yours,

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Reginald Braifstone III

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The Official Holy Grail Misheard Lyrics Sheet

We're Knights of the Round Table,
We dance whenever we're able.
We look to keep the coreless seem,
To put back impacable.
We dine while here in Camelot,
We have to jam and scramalot!

We're Knights of the Round Table,
Our shows our floor,
We're able.
The many times we get them blind,
Their not quite upsinaval.
We'll lock up magic Camelot,
We succome to lie and pramalot.

Though we're dark and able,
Quite indeparted Gable.
Between our Quest we seek in best,
In the person they call Gabel.
It's a messy life in Camelot,
(Solo) I have to push the pramalot.



Back to the Holy Grail

The Misheard Lyrics were posted by one fan straightfaced on America Online (where else?). All the rest is taken verbatim from 7th Level's "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" CD-ROM game. No close harmony groups were harmed in the creation of this page.