There's No Grail Here.

M0nti Pyth0n ik den H0lie Grailen

Actually, I think I could pull through, sir.

And now, a word...

NI !

Thank you.



Read the Holy Grail!


A Full Transcript of the Film

The Original Shooting Script (with a comprehensive guide to scenes cut or changed in the final film)

Monty Python's Second Film (the rejected first draft of what later became the Grail)

The Album of the Soundtrack of the Trailer of the Film of Monty Python and the Holy Grail (original material from the tie-in record album)

Fun Stuff to try in the Grail Game (if you need real help on the 7th Level games consult our Links page)

King Brian the Wild (a scene written for the film but never performed)

Download the entire PythoNET script collection in one ZIP!




Pictures, Eh?


(wallpaper by Linus the Llama)

Visit the Image Gallery
by Linus the Llama!




Sounds from the Holy Grail

A few favorite WAVs to lighten up your Windows evirons.

"Help! Help! I'm being repressed!" (.WAV)
*THUNK* "Message for you, sir." (.WAV)
"...And there was much rejoicing." "Yay." (.WAV)

Visit our Holy Grail WAV directory!

  • King Arthur music (514 KB .WAV)
  • Adam's bridgekeeper answering machine answer (83.9 KB .WAV)
  • Dramatic chord (17.9 KB .WAV)
  • Get on with it! (58 KB .WAV)
  • Ni (2 KB .WAV)
  • Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoom-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv (41 KB .WAV)
  • Castle Aaaagh music (140 KB .WAV)



    • For the best Python sounds on the web, visit montypython.net.



    MIDI Music


    Synthesized versions of your Python favorites.

    DeWolfe's Holy Grail Theme (short [movie] version) : The original MIDI, by someone called 'Mikey, Player of Coconut.' A fun song for all you knights-in-training out there.

    DeWolfe's Holy Grail Theme Song (full version) : By the multitalented Steve Hull (STHMID@aol.com). The entire song, not heard in the film, and based on an archival tape lost to the public for twenty years. For the WAV and full story behind this see below.

    Brave Sir Robin (by Neil Innes) : Another gem by the spam-eating Steve Hull ... Good to give to friends named Robin.


    Camelot Song (Knights of the Round Table) : And another!

    Or get our entire Monty Python MIDI Collection in one ZIP! It includes all that's above and much, much more. If you haven't DL'ed it yet here's your chance!



    Videos

    Videos encoded by Linus the Llama.
    MPEG-1 compatible player needed to view these. If you don't have one, click here.
    All clip dimensions are 176 x 102 -144 and are under MPEG 1 compression.
    [thumb]The legendary Black Knight scene. Features John Cleese as the ever persistent Black Knight. How did they get him hopping around with just one leg? A local Blacksmith with only one leg was brought in as a stand-in. 2 MB file. Clip runs for 2 minutes, 10 seconds.

    [thumb]This scene was cut from the film. Dingo (Carol Cleveland tells the audience what she really thinks of this scene. Included on the Grail laserdisc and DVD. 574 KB file. Clip runs for 36 seconds.

    [thumb]The original theatrical trailer of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Once in a lifetime there comes a motion picture which changes the whole history of motion pictures. Then there are the more run-of-the-mill films like Monty Python and the Holy Grail. 2.85 MB file. Clip runs for 3 minutes and 6 seconds.

    [thumb]The infamous Killer Rabbit scene. Behold the foul tempered creature that guards the cave of Caerbannog. Absurdly funny special FX in this ridiculous blood-and-gore scene. This part of the film gets funnier every time you see it. 1.54 MB file. Clip runs for 1 minute, 40 seconds.

    [thumb]Arthur brings the shrubbery to the Knights who say Ni! But they are no longer the Knights who say Ni! 952 KB file. Clip runs for 1 minute.


    [thumb]Arthur meets Tim the Enchanter. Can he help the find the Holy Grraail? Or does death await them all with nasty, big, pointy teeth!? Another eccentric performance by John Cleese as Tim the enchanter. 1.14 MB file. Clip runs for 1 minute, 14 seconds.

    [thumb]Arthur answers to the Keeper of the Bridge of Death. How does Arthur know so much about the African and European swallows? Well you have to know these things when you're king you know! 494 KB file. Clip runs for 30 seconds.


    [thumb] Bravely Bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die. Oh, brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways. Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. 2.4 MB.

    [thumb] Camelot Song. We're Knights of the Round Table. We dance whene'er we're able. We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impeccable. We dine well here in Camelot. We eat ham and jam and spam a lot. 1.1 MB.




    Selected Sounds NOT from the film (in WAV)




    DeWolfe's Holy Grail Theme (full version, 1.7 MB) Neil Innes composed a score for the film, but the Pythons, on a low budget, had no money to actually record it with an orchestra! So the Pythons turned, as they often did, to the Dewolfe company, makers of public-domain music records. Amazingly, it worked out. The evocative yet silly music chosen from those old records for the film remains a favorite of fans. This is the entire theme, not heard in the film, taken from 7th Level's Grail CD-ROM. Enjoy. For Steve's MIDI of this see above.



    Bibliography
    (AKA "THINGS YOU CAN BUY")



    THE ALBUM OF THE SOUNDTRACK OF THE TRAILER OF THE FILM OF MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (1975)
    (contains excerpts from the film soundtrack, plus other film related linking material)

    SIDE ONE: Congratulations/Welcome To The Cinema; Opening/Coconuts; Bring Out Your Dead; King Arthur Meets Dennis/Class Struggle; Witch Test; Professional Logician; Camelot/The Quest; The Silbury Hill Car Park; Frenchmen Of The Castle; Bomb Threat/Executive Announcement

    SIDE TWO: Story Of The Film So Far; The Tale Of Sir Robin; The Knights Of Ni; Interview/Director Carl French; Swamp Castle/The Guards/Tim; The Enchanter; Great Performances/Angry Crowd; Holy Hand Grenade; Announcement--Sir Kenneth Clark; French Castle Again; Close

    • LP: (1975) Charisma CAS 1103 (U.K.)
    • LP: (1983) Charisma CHC 17 (U.K.) (special reissue at budget price)
    • LP: (19***) Arista AL 4050 (U.S.)
    • LP: (19***) Virgin MP503 (U.K.)
    • LP: (19***) Arista Al 5-8157 (U.S.)
    • LP: (19***) Arista ALB 68355 (U.S.)
    • CS: (1975) Arista Records Inc. ACB6-8355 (U.S.)
    • CD: (1989) Virgin CASCD1103 (U.K.) (budget CD)
    • CD: (1994) Virgin Records Ltd., VCCD 004 (U.K.) (reissue)




    MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (BOOK), by Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin
    (contains the first draft, final draft, production notes, sketches, and both production and candid photos, and is packaged to look like an actual script)
    • Eyre Methuen Ltd., 1977 (reprinted in 1979 and 1981) (U.K.) ISBN 0-413-38520-5 (paperback)
    • Methuen Inc., 1977 (U.S.) ISBN 0-416-00341-9 (***)
    • Methuen Publications, 1977 (Canada) ISBN 0-458-92970-0 (***)
    • Mandarin Paperbacks/Michelin House, 1992/1993 (U.K.) ISBN 0-7493-1142-8 (paperback)




    MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (1974)
    (Monty Python's first successful full-length feature film; traces King Arthur's quest for the Holy Grail with his Knights of Round Table; filmed in Scotland, it is a true classic and perennial favorite on college campuses)
    • Almi-Cinema 5/Python Pictures-Michael White Film, distributed by RCA/Columbia Pictures Home Video (1991), 43396 92253 (ISBN 0-8001-1329-2), 90 minutes
    • Almi-Cinema 5/Python Pictures-Michael White Film, distributed by Brent Walker Video (19***), ***, 90 minutes
    • RCA Videodisc, RCA/03040/1974, 96 minutes




    MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (1975)
    (special laser disc version of the film; includes a "coming attraction" trailer, a bonus 24-second sequence from "The Tale of Sir Galahad" not previously released, an analog track featuring audio commentary by Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones, another analog track featuring the entire movie dubbed in Japanese, and various silly photos taken on location during the film's production; shown in its original aspect ratio of 1.85 to 1)
    • National Film Trustee Company, Ltd., distributed by The Voyager Company and Columbia/Tristar Home Video (1992), "The Criterion Collection", CC 1311L (ISBN 1-55940-324-1), 91 minutes


    And now, a word from Roger...

    Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say "Ni!" at will to shrubbers on the street. There is a pestilence upon this land; nothing is sacred. Something must be done. What is to be done? How should I know? I'm just a simple shrubber! But I do know this ... Every day shrubbers and shrubberies alike are violated, and whole gardens victimized, by those who would see our civilization overtaken by weeds, underbrush, and old men. Who is to be blamed? Who really is at the root of our society's impending spiral into a suicidal implosion?

    Why, the little children, of course. So screw 'em all!

    .. And be sure to purchase a shrubbery.




    Grail Poetry

    Back to the Films


    Support your local shrubber! Drop me a Ni at

    Why, that's the most vicious, cruel, foul-tempered rodent you'll ever lay eyes on! It's a killer!

    slaughtered to date