And now, lumberjacks and gentlemen, Mr. Eric Praline.
Ello, my name is Praline. Eric Praline, of the Dibley Road Pralines, and I have been asked, on behalf of this website and all its subsidiaries, to introduce for you a splendid feature film entitled "Monty Python's And Now For Something Completely Different."
I enjoyed this film thoroughly, as I myself have a minor role in it as a lunatic who rails on endlessly about parrots. I am not this way at all in real life, of course. I am known as a fine singer and great fun at parties, and in general not at all the type to get rattled by such an inconsequential matter as a parrot I've purchased from a local pet shop and already named "Eric" (after my beloved wife) being STONE DEAD. But let's talk about parrots, shall we? The fact that such blatant charlatanism exists in our country today is the first sign that the whole lot of it's gone to hell. You'd think that if the parrot was somewhat less than viable you could simply return the little bugger and get your money back. But no, nooo... "E's just resting," they say, while all the time the little birdie's rotting corpse is in there congealing on his perch because the pet shop owner has NAILED HIM THERE. I never did get a new parrot, and I swear that to get anything done in this country you have to complain until you're blue in the mouth ... although I must remember to thank that pet shop owner for a lovely evening.
DEAD PARROTS OF THE WORLD
The Norwegian Blue
A plucky little blighter, known for its raging social life and beautiful plumage ... although the plumage don't enter into it if it's BLEEDING DEMISED.
The South American Macaw
Prized for its flashy colors and high intelligence, this little avian wonder can be taught to speak thousands of pleasant phrases by the patient owner ... unless it's DEAD AS A BLOODY DOORNAIL, in which case it won't be saying MUCH OF ANYTHING, NOW WILL IT ?!
The Amazonian Redeye
A happy little fellow who makes a lovely household pet ... if you really want your little ones playing with a CORPSE! That's right, e's DEAD, they're all DEAD. Dead dead dead. Definitely deceased. Bleeding demised. Passed on, no more, any passing thought that these parrots are a going concern has been rendered inoperative. They've expired and gone to meet their maker. A bunch of stiffs, bereft of life, they rest in peace; if there was any justice in the world they'd be pushing up the daisies. They've rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible ...
THESE ARE ALL EX- PARROTS !
The Script
Okay, so it's not the most accurate transcript of And Now For Something Completely Different. But it IS, as I write this, the only transcript of the film up on the web. So that has to count for something. Created by me, with many thanks to Cory Parkinson. Revisisions by Claire Walker.
Pictures and Video
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Hello, I'm a bankrobber. Please don't panic, just hand over all the money. Err... this is a lingerie shop, sir. | |
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I wish to make a complaint about this parrot, which I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique! | |
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2:49
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Watch as the twits battle it out in eight grueling events. There's sure to be some car-door-slamming in the streets of Kensington tonight! | |
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by Linus the Llama
MIDI Music
Synthesized versions of your Python favorites.
The Lumberjack Song : Sing along, if you know the words. A dead-on perfect MIDI by the inventor of Velcro, Steve Hull (STHMID@aol.com)!
The Liberty Bell March : The march by John Philip Sousa better known as the Flying Circus Theme Song!
A Python Medley : Featuring the Lumberjack Song and other Python favorites by the Dictator of Brazil, Steve Hull (STHMID@aol.com)!
Or
get our entire Monty Python MIDI Collection in one ZIP! It includes what's above and much, much more. If you haven't DL'ed it yet here's your chance!
Sounds
For the best Python sounds on the web, visit montypython.net.
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have pined for the fjords here since July 21, 1997