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read all the news from 2002, archived read all the news from 2001, archived read all the news from 2000, archived n e w s from 2003  Nov 13, 2003: I recently took a break from working on Gods of Los Angeles to start shooting on a short film called Lover's Poison. Starring Mark Elias and Jamee Damron, this is I think the most disturbing little script I've ever written ... I've a twisted story about a directionless couple caught in a horribly violent and dissociative argument before important dinner guests are set to arrive. The film is still shooting. A bunch of screen grabs from our first shoot can be seen by clicking here.
I am still creating new installments of my comic strip The Sugarhigh Crusade, as well as a new comic strip, a political strip which is currently untitled - I just call it "Opinions" since that's the section it's printed in. It's whining liberal stuff, and stars a simplistically drawn rabbit named Mr. Flopsy. I hope you like it. You'll find it hidden at the bottom of the Sugarhigh website, or check for new strips every week in the Fastforward Forum. I've just spent a semester working on the official USC sitcom, God Help Us!, working as production designer, creating props and helping with the overall look of the sets. Some of my artwork was featured in episodes, and I also directed and edited the opening titles for the show. The teachers were both TV veterans - Tony Carey and "Bob Newhart Show" veteran Peter Bonerz. It was a fairly interesting experience, and I won't really talk about it here, but the curious can see lots of pictures at Kate Danley's lovely website. 
Okay ... now the news you're all waiting to hear about .... Yes, Gods of Los Angeles is still not done shooting yet. About 40 minutes of it was edited this summer ... thanks to classes and my complete lack of free time lately, I have been unable to edit any more of it. But soon - I will graduate from this place soon - and then I will edit like the bastard I am. About once a month lately, the cast has reunited to shoot the last few remaining scenes. Cori Haisler's part was supposed to be finished by now, but when I looked at the footage from her last day, there had been a camera malfunction and no sound was recorded on any of the useable takes. So, we're reshooting that. After that, the only remaining scenes are a couple of bits wrapping up David Maddox's Clifford character. We are 99% done. But not quite done, no. I will say that the scenes we've been shooting are some of the most beautiful footage in an already beautiful film.
Indulgence, the feature film I starred in this summer for Jay Bauman, is not released yet. I haven't heard anything from Jay Bauman about the editing - I haven't heard anything from him, as we are no longer speaking. Shortly after the shoot, he decided to say a number of horrible things about me in an email, and we are no longer on speaking terms. I am still proud of the film, but he can rot in hell. Jesse Maddox of Dislocated Productions (formerly Empire Excape) did a rough edit of a bunch of footage I shot for an unfinished Radio Man Movie. I watched it, and it didn't really seem to be working. I had definitely planned to do a Radio Man feature film down the road, but I'm no longer quite sure that the character can sustain a film of that length. I'm not really sure, and the idea has, for now, been put on hold.   Maddox - who was very bored and just wanted something to edit - also did a rough cut of Ghostbusted 3, which he cameos in. Ghostbusted 3 is the third in my popular series of bizarre slapped-together films shot at the Camp Rewind festival in South Dakota. The first two Ghostbusted films were funny, if barely watchable, messes of random scenes - since they're basically glorifed home movies, not scripted films. Ghostbusted 3 is a different situation. Although the film had no script and is entirely improvised by myself, Mike Stoklasa, Jason Santo, Jonason Ho, and Warren Blyth, it is a good short film with a proper story, lots of funny parts, and, well, a beginning, middle and end. This sounds like I'm damning it with faint praise, but I do think the film is quite good. It's the film I've been trying to make at Camp Rewind all these years but was never able to before. It stars Mike, Jason, Jonason and I as amateur Ghostbusters (Eddie, Max, Joe and Seymour) battling Warren Blyth as Walter, the demonic "Ghostmaster." You'll probably enjoy the hell out of this one, folks. However, currently we're in a state of panic, because out of the four tapes of footage shot for the film, the fourth tape has gone missing, and we have no idea where it is or who has it. I have searched my boxes of tapes in a panic trying to find it. The fourth tape contains the climactic ending to the movie. Without it, we've very screwed. Also, there is footage we need for the film that was never even shot ... Jason Santo, in the tradition of Ghostbusted 1, didn't bother to finish his part, and we're still waiting for him to shoot a couple last scenes and send them to us. So, the film would probably be released by now, but right now I have no idea when it's going to be released, or even if we can release it ... if we never find the footage, we're left with 80% of a short film. And that just doesn't work.
New Book: The Tao of Cow
Our own Garrett Gilchrist has recently made his first book, "The Tao of Cow," available online. "The Tao of Cow" is a book of sixty unrhymed philosophical poems, told from the point of view of a cow. Ah, and now you're asking - is this a joke? What sort of philosophy could a cow possibly have to give? Quite a bit, as it happens ... the cow teaches of a life simply and contentedly lived, in harmony with nature. In ten chapters, the happy cow meets a weary man on the road of life, and attempts to free his mind until the man can see where true happiness lies. It may free your mind as well ... the book has a calming effect, good for the stressed filmmaker ... and a good gift for family. The spiral-bound, 102-page, fully-illustrated paperback book is available for $9.59 ... Garrett makes no profit off of this, he just wanted to make the book available. It was originally written when he was younger and much less jaded, and it has a lot of meaning to him today. He hopes you'll enjoy it. If you're at all interested, please head over to www.cafeshops.com/taoofcow to order. 
You are not ready for The Teenage Bingo Brigade! (trailer)
The Teenage Bingo Brigade trailer (1.97 MB, Realplayer) "What drives a man to kill? Is it a Honda, a Volvo? Or perhaps a Buick?" It has been over a year now since Warren Blyth (of Oregon's Bravado Entertainment, and his own Funeral Home Entertainment) decided to make a short film out of The Teenage Bingo Brigade, a short script written by our own Garrett Gilchrist. Warren ran to L.A. and spent a few minutes shooting Garrett narrating his own script, in character as "Vivian." Since then, the unfinished film has sat unnoticed and unloved in Warren's stash of things to do. Then, unexpectedly, at Camp Rewind 2003, Warren debuted this trailer .... one of the strangest trailers I've ever seen. Warren has, in his boredom, turned a simple script into an endlessly bizarre CGI special effects extravaganza. Garrett was more shocked than anyone ... and we're all very curious to what sort of weirdness Warren is brewing. He is now updating us every few days on his progress (and lack thereof) on finishing the project, in the forum. But for now, watch the trailer, I say, and explode with delight! You are not ready for The Teenage Bingo Brigade trailer! (1.97 MB, Realplayer) 
Radio Man: Live Without Pants!
Radio Man: Live Without Pants (10 min, 35 MB, Quicktime) In previous issues, you've seen our own Radio Man try to perform live onstage. You've seen him fall over and get thrown offstage. But this time, nobody can stop him. This time, Radio Man gets to perform his act for 10 entire minutes. This time, Radio Man takes off his pants. The pants are off, and no holds are barred. Watch Radio Man talk about eating paint! Watch Radio Man try to eat his own pants! Shiver with glee as Radio Man puts on 3-d glasses and sings his hit single, "Space Hat," with guitar accompaniment by his manager, Jason Gutierrez. The greatest Radio Man standup act ever? Well, no. But it is the best one yet. Enjoy. Read Garrett's entire account of the night in the forums. To see Radio Man's previous two live performance attempts, read "Radio Man Live" The incredibly true story of Radio Man's first live performance, and "Radio Man Kicked Offstage", the tragic tale of Radio Man's unsuccessful second performance. And visit the Radio Man website. Radio Man: Live Without Pants (10 min, 35 MB, Quicktime) 
The return of The Sugarhigh Crusade!
Unseen since fall 2001, Garrett Gilchrist's long-running (43 installments!) comic strip "The Sugarhigh Crusade," is returning after its two-year sleep. Lord Aleric Sugarhigh has returned, with his cohorts Toshiro the Samurai, Joel, and the lovely Miss #749. Three new installments of The Sugarhigh Crusade have already been created - It will be appearing every week in the USC newspaper, The Daily Trojan, and more importantly will be appearing every week right here in our forums, and at the official Sugarhigh webpage. The strip follows the ongoing story of a funny and bizarre adventure, as a knight, a samurai, and two students go on quests all over a college campus, righting wrongs and doing battle with celebrities like Leonard Maltin. A paperback book compilation is coming soon, that you will be able to buy here. There's five years of story to catch up on, so better get cracking! You can read them all at the Sugarhigh webpage. 
Blanc Screen Cinema presents IThis is a must see, folks. You must see it. INDULGENCE Trailer (10 megs, 4 minutes, Realplayer) What have Blanc Screen Cinema's Jay Bauman and Orange Cow's Garrett Gilchrist been up to this summer? Here's your answer ... and your first look at this cool new feature comedy. Hope you all like it. I edited this trailer, which means it's going to be 4 minutes long, which Jay calls too long, and which I call PERFECT. "Indulgence" follows the story of Melf, a straight-arrow kid who doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs or even drink coffee. But as his life seems to spin out of control, he throws his fears out the window and has the strangest night of his life, indulging in alcohol, drugs, sex, and paint ... and if he survives, he'll never be the same. From director Jay Bauman (winner Best Feature, Rewind 2003, for "Clowns and Suicide") and starring (and with cinematography by) Orange Cow Productions' Garrett Gilchrist. For more information, visit the Indulgence webpage. INDULGENCE Trailer (10 megs, 4 minutes, Realplayer) 
Orange Cow Premiere: For Science!
A special-effects-filled time travel musical. Shot on black and white 16mm film, Tim Carras' For Science (6.67 MB, 5 min, Realplayer) tells the story of a young pilot (Gary Simpson) who has never gotten along with his mad scientist father (Jackie Penn), but who now may be too late to save him. Unless he can change time itself. With a great musical score by Tim Carras of Bonus Light Productions, who also wrote and directed. The cinematography, shooting and editing is by Garrett Gilchrist of Orange Cow Productions. Jason Santo of Mindscape Pictures calls it "fresh, exciting and fun ... an explosion of tight visuals, terrific acting and great music." So watch it or I'll cry. For pictures from the film, click here. For Science (6.67 MB, 5 min, Realplayer) 
Remastered: Torgo and the Quest for Fuck: The Special Edition!
It's baaack! I was bored today, so I've gone back and fixed up the Jay Bauman-directed short from 2001, Torgo and the Quest for Fuck! (5 min, 14 megs, Realplayer) The whole film has been reedited and remastered, featuring much much better picture and sound. A previously-deleted scene, the "corn ice cream" scene, has also been added back in just for fun. Slapped together without a script in a couple hours at the end of the first annual Camp Rewind film festival in 2001, this offensive little all-improv short stars the cast of Florida's Queequeg Films (Jeremy Gardner, Natalie Sanders, Ryan Winford) and our own Garrett Gilchrist. It was directed by Jay Bauman, of Blanc Screen Cinema. The plot follows two wacky kidnappers as they attempt to find a suitable mate for their retarded brother. Torgo! He'll drool his way into your heart. See some pictures from the movie here. Torgo and the Quest for Fuck: The Special Edition (5 min, 14 megs, Realplayer) 
Orange Cow Feature Premiere: Ghostbusted 2!
(51 minutes, 84 mb, Realplayer) What's 51 minutes long and calculated to drive you utterly insane? What's absolutely horrible and yet strangely entertaining? That's right, for a limited time, the entire feature-length epic, Ghostbusted 2, is available for screening online. Like the original Ghost Busted, this started as an honest attempt to shoot a comedy film with a Ghostbusters theme while at the Camp Rewind film festival. However, like the original, I completely failed to shoot a Ghostbusters movie, and wound up with a lot of random bizarre documentary footage instead. It's an improvised comedy film shot documentary style, as I follow around various funny filmmaking people, and they attempt half-assedly to entertain you without knowing what the hell they should do. The movie is not about anything in particular, but contains vague references to ghosts. It's a look into the people and places that make up the Camp Rewind film festival every year in South Dakota. This was supposed to play at Camp Rewind 2003, but the fest organizers decided it was far too brilliant to be allowed to play. Yes, it is 84 freaking megs. I told you, it's feature-length. Enjoy. Starring David Ashe, Jay Bauman, Lisa Renley, Mike Stoklasa, Garrett Gilchrist, John Brugmann, Rich Evans, Jonathan Margheim, Warren Blyth, Jonason Ho, Dan Gorgone, C.C. Chapman, Joe Vaccariello, Marc Linn, Bobby Brown, Anthony Stella, Justin Bielawa. For pictures from the film, click here.  New Gods of Los Angeles Trailer! Gods of Los Angeles: Second Trailer (11.8 MB, 4min, Realplayer) This was posted in the forum ages ago, and I've got some space to fill here so I might as well put it here too. I'm very proud of this one. Regular visitors of this site know that I've been working on this movie for almost two years now. At the moment I am editing it every single day hoping to finally get it done for a 2003 release. Over 43 hours of footage was shot - it's rather a large film. This is the new trailer, which I like quite a bit better than the old trailer. Anyway: David Ashe, Cori Haisler, Katherine Hoagland, David Maddox and Mariana McConnell star in Garrett Gilchrist's expansive (and long-in-production) feature drama about the meaning of love. I hope you like it. The music in the trailer is by Brian Mark, who also did the music for our short film "The Journey of Truesong" (watchable here). Gods of Los Angeles: Second Trailer (11.8 MB, 4min, Realplayer) 
Orange Cow Favorites: Music For the Mind Ballet!
Music for the Mind Ballet(25.4 MB, 16min, Realplayer) ... An Orange Cow short from 2001, this has never been available on the web before. I was bored, so I've put it up. It should alleviate YOUR boredom too. The dialogue-less short stars Jamie "Reoke" Odum as Genny, a college student who becomes so overwhelmed with stress that she splits into two personalities ... and has to live with herself. It features some nice trick photography and splitscreen work, and was a definite inspiration for later Orange Cow dramatic work like "Stripped Away" and "Gods of Los Angeles." Enjoy ... Music for the Mind Ballet(25.4 MB, 16min, Realplayer) 
It's the (un)official Camp Fastforward 2003 Website by Jonason Ho!
Can I get a big "uh-oh?" From June 20th to June 22nd, Camp Fastforward 2003 was held in the lounge at Troy East apartments, USC, Los Angeles (although, as fits Camp Fastforward tradition, no one was there on the 20th). Mike Stoklasa, John Brugmann, Warren Blyth, Jonason Ho, Jason Gutierrez, and Garrett Gilchrist (about 80% of the forum regulars) were in town for the quote unquote "hilarity," which also involved recording some voices for Mike's film "Oranges: Revenge of the Eggplant" (involving actors Katherine Hoagland and Riley O'Malley). But mostly, everyone spent a long saturday night talking, eating pizza, drinking, and ... oh yeah, watching some movies, including "Karate Pate 0," "For Science" and "Quit." Was it worth the drive/plane ticket? You bet your sweet bippy, and Jonason Ho's got the website to prove it. Behold, the insane glory that is the Camp Fastforward 2003 website. This page entertains me to no end, probably because I'm an idiot. Also, click on these links for more pictures: Big Pictures (suitable for wallpaper) ... Little Pictures ... rumor has it there is more coming to this page. Which would be good, as I need more of this just like your mom needs more crack. Yeah, I'm talking to you. You heard me. 
Orange Cow Premiere: The Journey of Truesong!
This is the one you've been waiting for, folks. We are proud to present Orange Cow Productions' The Journey of Truesong. An ambitious 5-minute fantasy piece shot on 16mm black and white film, The Journey of Truesong (17 MB, 5 min, Realplayer) tells the story of a young man who travels to hell and heaven in search of a way to revive his lost lover. A new tale told in the style of the storytellers of old. Written and directed by Garrett Gilchrist, photographed and edited by Tim Carras (Bonus Light Productions). Starring Ryan Bourne, Brandy Bourdeaux, Carl Stone, Uche Akotaobi. Here we are, then - enjoy. For photographs from the shoot, click here. The Journey of Truesong (17 MB, 5 min, Realplayer)  New Two-Part Video Series: Pirates of Film!
Pirates of Film: Part One (18 min., 30 MB, Realplayer) Pirates of Film: Part Two (25 min., 40.5 MB, Realplayer) What's a nice cinematographer doing in a video like this? Transcend Entertainment cinematographer Jason Gutierrez teams up with Orange Cow asshole Garrett Gilchrist for a full 45-minute instructional video. Watch as they fail to be either informative or funny on the subject of lighting. Giving up, they take to the streets to see if people are interested in amateur film. This is where it gets interesting. Forgetting the teaching joke, they try to learn something themselves. Watch as Jason questions Super Mario's sexuality! Watch as women run away from Garrett in terror, and men come very close to punching him! Watch Jason make out with a mannequin head! It's time for fun and adventure on the high seas of Los Angeles, with Jason and Garrett, the Pirates of Film! Part One, (18 min., 30 MB, Realplayer) Part Two (25 min., 40.5 MB, Realplayer) 
Orange Cow Premiere: Talking to People About Star Wars!
In another big Orange Cow premiere this week, we're pleased to be able to present a new documentary, Talking to People About Star Wars. (36 MB, 25 min, Realplayer) Shot in 2002 during the Gorilla Interrupted, Gods of Los Angeles and Ghostbusted 2 shoots. I simply relaxed and asked all your favorite amateur actors about Star Wars. They had all been big Star Wars fans as kids, and most of them would no longer call themselves such. Sure The Phantom Menace was a bad film, but could a movie possibly cause so much pain as to ruin a childhood dream? This one raises more questions than it answers and has some funny bits in it. Enjoy. I certainly do. Directed by Garrett Gilchrist and starring Rich Evans, Lisa Renley, Jesse Sorgatz, David Ashe, Mike Stoklasa, Jay Bauman, John Brugmann, Cori Haisler, Harry Pottash. Talking to People About Star Wars (36 MB, 25 min, Realplayer) 
It's Radio Man Live!
Oh dear. It's our own Radio Man, and he's live onstage, performing at USC's coffehouse and poet/musician hangout, GroundZero. Well, he's not so much performing as he's destroying the stage. Read all about it here, or just Read the full story here.  Hey kids! It's Squiffy the Derelict Cat!
Something's sure gonna happen! For FF members only, here comes a rare treat - a sneak preview of an animated cartoon by Garrett Gilchrist. It's Squiffy the Derelict Cat! (5.9 MB, Realplayer) Written by Jay Bauman and voiced by Garrett and Kara Dennison, this twisted tale of feline delinquence will appear in Jay's upcoming film "Clowns and Suicide," from Blanc Screen Cinema.But you cool cats and kittens get to watch it right now! Watch Squiffy get hit by a train! Watch him try to shoot a homeless man! Watch him solicit a prostitute, and do battle with a 300 foot tall politician! He'll be your favorite homeless loser. Something's sure gonna happen when you're with Squiffy the Derelict Cat!  New Radio Man Show: Radio Man Makes a Friend!!
For the lucky thirteenth episode of our questionably popular radio series, we did something a little different. Radio Man has always done his show alone ... there has never even been anyone else in the room. Well, this time, someone randomly showed up. And it seems like Radio Man has accidentally gotten himself a sidekick. Can the world survive a Radio Man show built for two? Find out in FF Radio episode 13, Radio Man Makes a Friend! (20 min., 10 mb, Realplayer) Adlibbed as usual by Garrett Gilchrist, this ep guest-stars Jason Gutierrez of Transcend Entertainment. It also contains the most mindblowing musical number yet heard in a Radio Man episode, "The Dented Dime Song!" If this is your first time listening to Radio Man, check out all the previous episodes at our FF Radio website. 
New Trailer: Radio Man: The Movie!
Uh oh. Can the world withstand a movie starring our own Radio Man? I doubt it. But here's a trailer for one. I have no idea if there's actually a movie to go with this. From Orange Cow Productions and Garrett Gilchrist comes the most epic, anticipated motion picture of 2002, 2003 and possibly 1982. Look out world, here comes Radio Man! (6mb, Realplayer) The story: when corporate interest is shown in his radio program, our hero must finally leave his mom's house and journey to the big city. He must evade the mob, reunite with his long lost brother, and win the hand of a girl he likes. Actually none of that has anything to do with this trailer. Watch it anyway - it's Radio Man! With a special appearance by Deejay.  Gorilla Interrupted Exclusive: David Ashe vs. Jay Bauman!
Double your comedy with twice the David Ashe. (3 mb, Realplayer.) We are proud to present, thanks to GMP pictures' Mike Stoklasa, not just one, but TWO completely different (and hilarious) takes on the same scene. Dave was asked to mail in a cameo for Stoklasa's unreleased epic schlock masterpiece, ("Gorilla Interrupted," which Dave had done a script rewrite for. I wrote him a gratuitious little scene he could play, and Dave sent in two versions of a scene ... one in which he played it normally, and one in which he played it as a flamboyantly gay Marxist. Mike edited together both versions. I'm not sure which he intends to use in the final cut, but I'm proud to present them both. You decide! Watch the video already! (3 mb, Realplayer) It's the former Orange Cow star vs. Blanc Screen Cinema's Jay Bauman, as Jay tries to call up a girl he likes, Julie, and gets Ashe instead. (Gorilla Interrupted is still unreleased, but you can watch nearly an hour of other scenes from it, in the unauthorized "bootleg cut" available in our video section.)  It's a Disturbingly Merry Radio Man Christmas!Talk radio fans, grab a mug of scaldingly hot cocoa, start a warm fire on your desktop, and see if your brain can withstand The Radio Man Christmas Special. (Realplayer, 7 megs.) It's a half hour of chat about Christmas as Ebenezer Radio Man searches for the true meaning of the season. Find out why a snowman could kick your ass. Find out why Batman and Christmas don't mix! It's guaranteed to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Unless it doesn't. But it is guaranteed to make you wonder why you're listening to this. Like a mug of hot Christmas cheer dumped splat into your lap. Listen to the Radio Man. Love the Radio Man. |