by Garrett Gilchrist » Sat Jul 11, 2015 3:54 am
I’m running for President for the GOP. The Koch Brothers have paid me 500 million dollars to say that I’m so poor, I wear cigar boxes on my feet and wash myself with a rag on a stick. I slaughter pigs out back at my night job in the biscuit line at Hardee’s. I’m too poor to know how to read, but I own ten hundred guns which I use to shoot people who look like criminals. I eat mostly Cheez Wiz with bacon bits which I buy at Wal-mart. AMERICA!
[Harvard diploma made out of pure gold falls out of pocket] Heh heh, how did that get in there