Things I Say

[Garrett Gilchrist]

Mike Nelson of Rifftrax to star in NBC live broadcast of Peter Pan. He sings, “I’ve Gotta Crow,” adding, “but it’s the one from the later Sci-Fi Channel episodes so I hope you’re okay with that.”

[Garrett Gilchrist]

Dave “Gruber” Allen vs. Predator

[Garrett Gilchrist]

Bitten by a radioactive film critic, Peter Parker suddenly understands the appeal of the Coen Brothers.

[Garrett Gilchrist]

Meryl Streep has never appeared on Sesame Street, for fear that they’ll rename it “Sesame Streep” and never let her leave.

[Garrett Gilchrist]

They say follow your dreams. I had a dream today. Here’s how it ended.

Football Hall of Famer Dick Butkus and I are inside an Atari 2600 (and rendered accordingly, with big pixels). We end up playing “Hockey Pong,” but we don’t use a puck. We use two eight-foot-long black rubber lobsters. Somehow this is satire on the way media covers breaking news.

They say follow your dreams.




[I posted this seven months ago. It is weird to reread this because I wound up following this dream. I guess I'll explain that eventually.)

[Garrett Gilchrist]

Do you think Nicolas Cage knows he’s Nicolas Cage? Because if he doesn’t, I wouldn’t want to be the one to tell him.

[Garrett Gilchrist]

If Windows is so popular, how come nobody listens to Fleetwood PC?
– asking the tough questions here – keeping it real

[Garrett Gilchrist]

“Sega All-Stars Racing?”
They missed a trick by not calling it Sonic the Road Hog

[Garrett Gilchrist]

Rubber Ducky, you’re The One. You can dodge bullets

[Garrett Gilchrist]

John Lennon sang about beating his wife, then Philips used it to sell boomboxes and flat screen TVs. I’m not sure how much “better” things really got.