Things I Say

[Garrett Gilchrist]

I wonder if Matt Damon ever regrets buying that zoo.

[Garrett Gilchrist]

“j/k” : An abbreviation for “just kidding,” often used in email, chat and texts. For example: “I wrote all the Harry Potter books. jk”

[Garrett Gilchrist]

“First is the worst, Second is the best, Third is the one with the hairy chest” - Someone with an extreme but valid view of early Doctor Who

[Garrett Gilchrist]

The Cylons were created by man. They rebelled. They evolved. They got a bank loan and started a taco stand or something I don’t know I haven’t worked the whole thing out yet but anyway it turns out it was Earth all along.

[Garrett Gilchrist]

Might solve a mystery.
Or rewrite history.

[Garrett Gilchrist]

I hate hating. Hating is the worst. When someone does something awful to you, and you get so angry you’re not yourself anymore. I’ve caught myself getting riled up, because of one person and his/her bullshit. I’ve caught myself saying hateful things. Stuff which sounded homophobic or anti this or anti that, because of one person. A family member, a friend or former friend, a coworker, a housemate. I’ve said stuff which simply isn’t me. Because of anger. Because of the moment. Because of this one asshole. It’s an awfulness which is contagious. You have to work to rid your life of people who make you feel this way. It’s okay if we can’t get along. We have to seek out people who we can be ourselves with, because there are plenty of people out there who will warp your emotional reactions until you’re behaving like a monster, like someone you’re not. I hate hating. Hating is the worst.

[Garrett Gilchrist]

XIF
Acronym for “Christ, I’m fat.”
“Went to the gym today for first time in months. Free pizza. Sick afterward. Too many mirrors. XIF.”

Tofu
Acronym for “Totally Fucking.”
“Wow, those two are tofu.”

Medioscarity
When a filmmaker makes an obvious Oscar-bait film which is otherwise sort of uninspired.

[Garrett Gilchrist]

There’s now an action figure of 80s power balladeer Bonnie Tyler. Unfortunately, every now and then they fall apart.

[Garrett Gilchrist]

Making a new Superman movie is like making a new Three Stooges movie. Look, we know that’s not the right guy.

[Garrett Gilchrist]

The warden threw a party in the county jail. It wasn’t nearly as much fun as later reports would have you believe.