Things I Say

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Re: Things I Say

Postby Garrett Gilchrist » Fri Jun 24, 2016 11:58 pm

In adherence to Zack Snyder's love for the Gospel of Selfishness preached by Ayn Rand, the upcoming film "Justice League" will be renamed "Just Us League." DC's famous heroes won't save anyone, and will only think of themselves. They'll spend time diversifying their stock portfolios and figuring out how to get out of paying taxes. After lunch they'll say terrible things about minorities and the disabled.
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Re: Things I Say

Postby Garrett Gilchrist » Sun Sep 18, 2016 3:41 am

https://medium.com/@garrettgilchrist/dr ... .prhcul8ka

QUESTION: Jill Stein, you're a third party candidate running in a two party system. You're polling between one and three percent, which in polling terms is about half of a rounding error. It is impossible for you to win even one state in this election.

JILL STEIN: It's not about winning. It's about feeling good about who you're voting for.

Q: Voting for you accomplishes nothing.

JS: But it feels good. It makes you feel better than other people. And isn't that what's important?

Q: Why should voters throw their votes away?

JS: We're the Green Party. We care about the environment. It's not throwing your vote away. Think of it as putting it in the Recycle Bin.

Q: But you can't win.

JS: Our goal isn't winning. We want to build a stronger Green Party.

Q: By weakening the Democratic party? Ensuring that neither one can win?

JS: Our only goal is to take 5 percent of the vote, which otherwise would have gone to Hillary.

Q: Thus clinching the election for Trump.

JS: Hey, you can't make an omelette without breaking a country.

Q: You have no political experience, and you're running against a former Senator and Secretary of State, who is frankly one of the most experienced candidates in US history.

JS: Voters are tired of the corruption in Washington. They want an outsider, not a politician. Someone like …

Q: Donald Trump.

JS: Look, people are fed up with the Democratic Party. They want someone who can make America great - er, green again.

Q: A question to third party voters. On election day, either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump will win. Are you supporting Donald Trump?

THIRD PARTY VOTER: Of course not. He's an out of control racist bigot who only cares about himself. He'd destroy our country and make us a joke on the world stage.

Q: So you're voting for Hillary.

3PV: Of course not. Hillary is the real enemy here. She's a million billion times worse than Trump.

Q: Why is that?

3PV: Oh, Benghazi and emails or, I don't know, we'll think of something.

Q: Which party do you prefer, the Democrats or the Republicans?

3PV: The Democrats, obviously. The Republicans have gone off the deep end. Trump could be America's Hitler.

Q: So you support the Democratic party.

3PV: No, they're hopelessly corrupt. They're the real enemy here.

Q: But are they worse than the Republicans?

3PV: Given those choices, I would vote Democrat. But I will never, ever vote for Hillary.

Q: Who is the Democratic nominee.

3PV: I'm sorry you drank the Kool-Aid, comrade. Enjoy being a sellout to the man.

Q: On election day, one of two people will win. Are you supporting Hillary or Trump?

3PV: I'm supporting Jill Stein.

Q: But we're in a two party system. Jill Stein is polling between one and three percent and has zero chance of winning even one state.

3PV: Polls aren't real. Anything could happen. Any minute now, they're gonna throw Hillary in prison and then Jill Stein will be President by default! I saw it on cable news!

Q: Aren't you afraid of a President Trump?

3PV: Don't you get it? Trump isn't real! He's an actor. Hillary is the worst candidate in the history of the world. She needed a supervillain to run against. They hired an actor named Billy Shears and he replaced Paul McCartney! Paul is dead! Trump isn't real. Elections aren't real. Voting isn't real. What has voting ever done for anybody?

Q: Well, in 2000, we had a very similar situation. Bill Clinton's longtime partner was running for President, against a GOP candidate who seemed like a loudmouthed fool. A lot of voters voted Green Party, knowing that Ralph Nader couldn't win, but wanting to send a message. A lot of those voters now wish they could take that vote back and save us from the total economic crash that followed.

3PV: The two parties are the same, don't you get it?

Q: Tell that to a million dead Iraqis.

3PV: None of it is real! Our votes don't matter. None of it matters!

Q: The election was close enough that it was settled in Florida, under very suspicious circumstances, overseen by George W. Bush's brother Jeb. And then decided finally by the Supreme Court, who leaned Republican. Effectively, it was a stolen election, and just a handful of votes could have swung it in Gore's favor.

3PV: President Gore wouldn't have changed anything. Just more of the same.

Q: Well, President George W. Bush started endless wars in Iraq and Afghanistan which cost between 4 and 6 trillion and crashed the American economy, leading to record unemployment. The price of gas rose as Americans found themselves without work.

3PV: And what have the Democrats done about that? Nothing!

Q: Under President Obama, the economy has slowly recovered, with a record breaking and historic long run of job growth that continues today. We've also seen the start of a universal health care system, and rights like gay marriage. All this under unprecedented obstruction from the Republicans in Congress, who have refused to do anything at all while Obama is in office.

3PV: Oh, I love Obama.

Q: Did you love Bernie Sanders?

3PV: Of course.

Q: Obama, Sanders, and Elizabeth Warren have endorsed Clinton and are campaigning for her right now.

3PV: She KIDNAPPED Bernie! He HAD to endorse her otherwise she'd do a BENGHAZI on his entire family!

Q: This is party politics - the Democratic Party versus the Republican one. Turning everything into a personal attack on one woman distracts from the real issues at stake.

3PV: Exactly. Whatever works. I'm an agent of chaos, baby.

Q: Would you rather vote for a Democrat, or for Donald Trump?

3PV: Obviously I'd vote for the Democrat. But I'll never vote for Hillary. She killed a million Americans in Benghazi with her emails. I saw it on cable news.

Q: Do you think it's possible that cable news isn't portraying Hillary Clinton accurately but rather trying to turn her into an offensive caricature of herself? Like, for the past twenty-five years or so?

3PV: BENGHAZI. Also she's dying and she needs to smile more. She's gonna take your guns and kill you with her death panels!

Q: How much cable news did you do?

3PV: ALL OF IT. Anyway Hillary is a centrist! I want a President who represents all Americans!

Q: Even Republicans?

3PV: No, of course not. Okay, I want a President who represents only some Americans. Not Republicans or anyone from the South.

Q: But the President represents all Americans. It's a centrist post by its nature.

3PV: The Democratic party is unfixably corrupt and American Politics is a cesspool of hot garbage.

Q: Okay, on that we agree. So what happens on election day if Trump wins?

3PV: NOTHING HAPPENS. NONE OF IT IS REAL. THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES TO ANYTHING. VOTING IS MEANINGLESS. I don't HAVE to vote for Hillary! It's not ILLEGAL to vote for someone else!

Q: So that's why you're voting for Jill Stein. Because to you, voting is meaningless.

3PV: Oh, I'm not voting for anyone. I don't vote.

Q: So why am I listening to you?

3PV: BECAUSE I'M CONSTANTLY STARTING ARGUMENTS ON YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE. HILLARY IS ACTUALLY THE DEVIL. AND ISN'T IT SOOO CONVENIENT THAT SUDDENLY THIS SO-CALLED 'TRUMP' JUST APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE MAKING IT SEEM LIKE VOTING FOR HER IS THE SENSIBLE CHOICE AND THAT I'M THE UNREASONABLE ONE. IIIIII'M THE UNREASONABLE ONE. IIIIII'M THE UNREASONABLE ONE.

Q: Well, can't argue with that.

3PV: No. Argue with me. Please. I desperately need attention.

Q: Jill Stein, you're a medical doctor. Why are you supporting such paranoid quackery as linking vaccines to autism and linking Wi-Fi to cancer?

JS: It gets votes from a certain segment of the population. Look, people have questions. And some people won't believe the answers no matter how many times they're told. That's my target audience.

3PV: WHATEVER YOU SAID SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T SAY! JILL STEIN STANDS FOR WHATEVER YOU WANT HER TO! SHE'S PRO GOOD THINGS AND ANTI BAD THINGS.

Q: Jill Stein, the Green Party, under Ralph Nader, accepted funding from conservative sources in order to sabotage Al Gore's campaign. Why are you doing the same to Hillary Clinton? Aren't you afraid of a President Trump?

JS: I'm not trying to stop Donald Trump. I'm trying to stop Hillary Clinton.

Q: So you're not concerned about Trump.

3PV: He's not a real candidate! He can't win! He's only polling at, what?

JS: One or three points less than Hillary. Sometimes two points higher.

3PV: Jill Stein is the only real candidate!

Q: Because she's polling at one or three points, period. Points which could be going to stop Trump.

3PV: TRUMP ISN'T REAL. IT'S SHEEPLE LIKE YOU THAT STILL BELIEVE IN THE MOON LANDING. WATCH ALEX JONES.

JS: It's like the Joker said. It's not about winning. It's about sending a message. Everything burns.

3PV: BURN IT DOWN! BURN IT ALL DOWN!

Q: You realize the Joker was the villain, right?

JS: Don't talk that way about my puddin'.
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Re: Things I Say

Postby Garrett Gilchrist » Fri Sep 23, 2016 8:45 am

JESSE EISENBERG AS LEX LUTHOR:

SUPER Man? More like GARBAGE Can!

Dot com dot whaa? High five! Borat voice! High five!

(pause, then, angry:) You're not high fiving me.

JARED LETO AS THE JOKER:

BAT Man? More like GARBAGE Ca
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Re: Things I Say

Postby Garrett Gilchrist » Fri Sep 23, 2016 10:29 am

JESSE EISENBERG AS LEX LUTHOR:
No one has ever seen Clark Kent and Superman in the same room together!

ME:
Yeah, well, nobody's ever seen you with Poochie from The Simpsons.

JESSE:
What?

ME:
What?
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Re: Things I Say

Postby Garrett Gilchrist » Tue Sep 27, 2016 5:55 pm

JILL STEIN VOTER: '"If you have to lose an election in order to establish your power, you have to do that." It is the lost causes that matter most.'

ME: If you choose to lose an election, you have no power and deserve none.

Besides this, you often say that Jill Stein can win, which is obviously untrue. Stein will say anything to drive lefties to her lost cause. Like lemmings in the Disney film - right off a cliff. She's a pretty good con artist - Trump and his bunch should be proud.

With respect, it's easier for you to treat this election as a game or as a moral statement. You were established in your field when I was in diapers. And your talents are still in demand now.

I remember in 2000, when voters were sick of Clinton policies and assumed their votes didn't matter. They treated the election as a chance to make a statement. We got Bush, an economic depression and endless war.

I graduated college in the middle of that, in 2004. I graduated with 200k debt and couldn't so much as get a job as a shoe store. I was never able to get a foothold in the Bush economy and have been penniless and near-homeless ever since.

A Trump Presidency would literally kill me. You would be fine. So you play games. That's all this is. The world you started working in doesn't exist for people like me because of elections just like this - the elections you pretend are fake and staged and meaningless, because it helps you sleep at night.

I shouldn't single you out. There's lots of this on my feed. Playing games.

Enjoy Vice President Frollo Pence though. I hear he's going for the Dick Cheney "real power behind the operation" role.
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Re: Things I Say

Postby Garrett Gilchrist » Tue Sep 27, 2016 5:59 pm

All this about Donald Trump saying he has the "best temperament" - to audience laughter - and nobody's made a Donald Duck joke. What are they teaching kids in school these days?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg3FLwW0a18
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Re: Things I Say

Postby Garrett Gilchrist » Tue Sep 27, 2016 6:00 pm

JILL STEIN SUPPORTER: "To Clinton supporters I make this challenge - I will vote for Clinton if you prove these wrong.
A)The Clintons took 153 million dollars from the companies that were convicted of fraud in the 2008 meltdown.
B) That following his BJ impeachment Bill Clinton went along with everything the Republicans said (etc)


ME: To Jill Stein supporters I make this challenge. I will pay you 47 million dollars if Jill Stein wins even one state in this election. Otherwise she is statistically irrelevant and you're just trolling on behalf of Hillary's opponent, like she is, whether you're willing to admit that to yourself or not.

If you need your candidate to be perfect and pure and innocent, I see why you gravitate to an amateur who has never held public office and is not even trying to win this election. You could, with the same result, write in a vote for Amalthea the Last Unicorn. But Hillary will be fine without your one vote.

Of the two candidates who are actually running for the Presidency of these United States, the choice is not perfect but it sure is clear. With all her faults I would vote for Hillary over anyone the GOP has run in my lifetime, but certainly against Trump, who is human garbage.
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Re: Things I Say

Postby Garrett Gilchrist » Fri Sep 30, 2016 3:53 pm

One thing I've realized this election is that most people are simply incapable of big-picture thinking. This is a big country and on my feed I see people naively proposing solutions that would work - if this country were a single room of one hundred or five hundred people. Only under those circumstances could you vote for Trump, or Stein or Johnson.

"Forget voting! Let's join hands and learn to love each other!"

"Should we use force to get what we want? To change society into what we want it to be?"

"Forget the two party system! If everyone writes in a candidate, that candidate can win!"

"The free market of capitalism will save us!"

"Mexicans and Muslims out! I'm gonna build a wall!"

"Let's all make some noise and start a revolution!"

"I'm gonna punch the bad guy in the nuts!"

"If Killary wants to take my guns, she's gonna have to come here and say it to my face!"

Guys, America is not a room. It's a big country. Made up of a lot more than a hundred people.

Your Facebook feed isn't, so it's easy to forget.
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Re: Things I Say

Postby Garrett Gilchrist » Fri Sep 30, 2016 4:25 pm

So it turns out that Tim Burton is kinda racist, and I had never thought about that until this moment but now it feels like the ending of The Usual Suspects where a lot of random stuff just starts adding up.

https://www.bustle.com/articles/186641- ... white-cast

Yes, a guy who keeps using the same couple of actors doesn't care much about diversity.

Burton's characters are often not just "white" but the color white. #FFFFFF

Okay, so he almost gave us a black Two-Face. And considered a black Robin. Lot of almosts there.

The most you can say is that he's the reason this white Robin has a flat-top hairdo. And the reason Marlon Wayans and Billy Dee Williams got paid.

http://s57.photobucket.com/user/sallah4 ... 3.jpg.html

Someone writes:
You really can't win sometimes. Last week I was reading an article criticizing a straight male comic writer for including gay, trans and minority characters, because "it's not his place to tell their stories". The very same outlet the week before published a piece criticizing mainstream books for their lack of diversity.

Not saying that Burton doesn't have a history of predominantly white casts - though I doubt it's a conscious decision, and there are much better reasons to hate his more recent work. But to a degree, I also feel like there's just no way to please people who are determined to be offended regardless of what you do.


I am judging him on his own words, which in this case revealed a racist bias. As do his films, in retrospect.

Based on that interview, I'd say the language he used is outdated and insensitive, but that he raises a valid point.

There's a lack of representation in his work, but that no more makes him a racist than a lack of gay characters makes him homophobic, or a lack of political dramas makes him a libertarian.

This is something I've thought about a lot myself... When I used to write stories, I always felt uncomfortable writing nonwhite, non male, non straight, hell, non Canadian characters, because I felt I couldn't offer a fair perspective... But I also didn't want to only tell stories about one narrow group of people. That's a big part of why I stopped trying to write fiction.


Your fear of an imaginary hate mob is not my problem. We are writing about someone who has been hugely, hugely successful in Hollywood despite having made almost uniformly terrible films since the 1990s. And he has only told stories about straight white people. Not just white but bleached white. His legacy is assured, at least unless we say "wait a minute ..."

I love so many of his films and so do you, but his whiteness, and the whiteness of his stories, is not an impediment to his success. It's not an impediment to anyone's success. There is no hate mob coming for you, except your own guilt for not being good enough as a writer to imagine any experience outside your own.

Look at this for a moment. Notice how uniformly white Hollywood is. How uniformly straight, white and male.
http://goodinaroom.com/blog/hollywood-diversity/

Maybe the problem, as you're realizing now, and that I realized long ago, is that your voice is not special in and of itself. Storytelling doesn't need another straight white male in a sea of millions.

Our world is not white. I'll repeat that. Our world is not white. It's not straight and it's not male. What we see onscreen in most films is. And as straight white men, we tend to write that, and we're wrong and the world doesn't need it.

If that stops you, if that gives you pause, and inspires you to do better, that's a good thing. It's fine if it even inspires you to take your leave and let other voices in.

But there's no hate mob coming. Tim Burton's made films from the 80s and nobody ever asked, where are the people of color? Where are the people who aren't Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter in white face paint?

Feel free to stick your head in the sand, white writers. If Tim Burton doesn't think there's anything wrong with him, you'll get away with it too.

But I'll repeat that. Our world has people in it who aren't you. You should write you. You should write you as honestly as you can. But if you can only write you, you should try a little harder.

Please don't get me wrong - I in no way believe in the bullshit notion of the "oppressed white male creator". And I absolutely, one hundred percent believe that there is a lack of diversity and representation in Hollywood, and most other creative mediums. What I said about myself wasn't part of a persecution complex, it's a reflection of my own neuroses.

All I was saying is that I believe that creators should be able to tell stories without having to fill quotas, but also without having restrictions put on them about what they can and can't write about. Again, I'm not a big fan of Tim Burton (post Nightmare Before Christmas anyway) - this just struck me as somewhat of a nonissue, that distracts from the much larger problems of representation.


And I'm saying this IS the problem of representation. Because someone like Tim Burton will never see a problem with his work until it's rubbed in his face. And it never has been, and at this point it's way too late.

Hollywood is not an alien entity. Hollywood is made up by people like Tim Burton. Making little worlds of white people and not seeing the problem.

Our world is not white. Our neighbors are not white. Even in Canada.

If a writer, or Tim Burton, can't see the sense of a fiction that isn't all-white, and sees it as filling quotas, pretending, acting, filling a check box and faking that you care, then that is a problem and a failing as a writer.

And the only hate mob coming for that writer is a creeping realization of guilt.
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Re: Things I Say

Postby Garrett Gilchrist » Fri Sep 30, 2016 5:12 pm

Free speech is only protected under the first amendment to the point where it is not a crime. Speech which is criminal exposes the speaker to penalties under law.

Death threats, threats of violence, hate speech, and intimidation cross the line into criminality. As a nation we enjoy freedom of speech, but criminal speech is not protected in the same way, nor should it be.

Hate speech and flags of treason and bigotry are illegal in, for example, Germany. It's something America needs to work on - to actually be ashamed of bigotry, treason, and its past. This will help us heal old wounds and move forward as a country.
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